Racing the Clock

Okay, I had such good intentions last night about getting to sleep in a "timely manner". First I thought I would shoot for "11:30". Yep, not a chance of that. I had too much to do. So then I thought, "Midnight". Oh, wait, I wasn't finished with my stuff yet. So then I thought, "12:30". And I made it into bed right around that time. So did Mark. Then we started chatting about the day, sharing about kids, etc...and the next thing I knew it was 1:30 and I was still awake. :( I tried though. I will keep working on it. Well, maybe not tonight. But next week.

Okay, so as is typical for me, I had tons of random thoughts today...here are just a sampling.

• On the way to pick Child 2 up for a doctor's appointment, I saw two shoes in the middle of the road. They were nice sneakers/running shoes. And they weren't anywhere close to each other. And all I could think was, "Who belongs to those nice shoes? And why aren't they wearing them?"
• Why is it that one road can have more than one name? I was driving in a tiny little town between two good size towns. There was a sign stating that at that point, the street name changed (totally different name). Why? It is a small town. I have a hard time believing that one name cannot handle one street there.
• Every time I see a helicopter (which I did today), I say a quick prayer. We don't typically have helicopters around here unless it involves medical emergencies.
• Before I had kids, we were early to everything. In fact, we probably drove people crazy coming to parties a little before the scheduled time when everyone else came thirty minutes AFTER the scheduled time. That is not a problem any more. With each child, our moments of lateness has greatly increased. Thus the name of today's post. I never want to leave TOO early, but then I feel like I am always racing against the clock to get somewhere on time. And our traffic around here can be very unpredictable. That being said, somehow I managed to drop kids off at my mom's house (Thanks, Grams!), pick Child 2 up early at music camp at our church, and get to her appointment on time.
• Between music camp, appointments, social events (for the kids), etc...I have driven more this week than I care to think about. I am pretty sure the next time I turn on my van, it will automatically drive itself to church. I have also tried every possible path to get to church. Every time I go a different way, Child 3 asks me, "Why are you going this way, Mom?" (She is like the ULTIMATE backseat driver!) And every time I say, "I like to try different ways."
• Ironically I was taking my little patient to the doctor to discuss her probable latex allergy. That isn't the ironic part. It was that when we were walking INTO the office, she somehow got her finger smashed in the door. Suddenly our "urgent care" visit really felt urgent! (It is fine now, just a small abrasion and really sore)
• I love our kids' doctor. He is about as laid back as they come. And that is good for someone like me who can be a bit...high strung. It isn't that he doesn't care. I know he does. He just handles things in a calm manner. I tell him about our daughter's reaction to balloons, and he very calmly writes me prescriptions for epi-pens (which the school will likely require) and tells me that more than likely, it won't be a problem because she knows to stay away from latex (which she does better than me about). No scare tactics, grilling, etc...
• Our daughter informed our doctor that she is only allowed one hour of screen time a day. She of course said it in a complaining way. The doctor's reaction, "Well, that is because your mom and dad are following the guidelines suggested by the American Academy of Pediatrics...kids should only have one hour of screen time a day." Can I just say again how much I love our kids' doctor?
• I informed the doctor that he will get to see me again on Monday with the two little ones for their checkups. I told him that Child 3 in particular is NOT happy about having shots and has told me (several times) that she will NOT be going. I won't blame him (the doctor) at all if he suddenly becomes ill over the weekend. He has no idea what is about to hit with that crew!
• To get Child 2 ready for her program tonight (a culmination of all of her hard work this week), I had to put her hair in pigtails because the show had a "farm setting". Okay, I know I am a girl, but that does NOT make me an expert on this. Why don't they have classes for moms to learn how to do little girls' hair? I really need one (a class that is).
• As we were driving home one of the times we made the trip today, Child 2 stated, "The fence for that field is gone." My statement, "Was there a fence there before?" I am so detail oriented. :)
• On the way home, That same child also said, "Mom can I live with you when I am older until I get my own house?" I told her that usually people move out around 18-20 years of age. She asked where she was supposed to live then. I told her an apartment would work. Her response? "What??? That costs money!"

There is so much more I could share, but this is probably enough for one day.

Please continue to pray for my friend Jill's husband (Jeremy) as he recovers from surgery and will start treatments very soon for colon cancer. Also pray for Jill as she tends to him and their young boys!

Please too pray for Bonnie. Her baby boy's birth will likely occur in just a little over a month. Obviously the birth of a baby is cause for celebration. However, it will also just be another reminder of a special day without her husband physically here. Please pray for to find rest and peace in Him.

Okay, I better get to bed. The kids will be up much earlier than I will want to be!

Reba

Catching the Zzzz's

Okay, just lately I have been reminded about how important sleep is, which is funny to me because I don't do it often. Once the kids go down, I try to get stuff done (or just sink on the bed with the computer out of complete exhaustion) and before I know it, it is 1:30. Just so you know, if I am on the computer, I am not necessarily goofing. I am working on finances, commenting on blogs, creating lists, checking out current adoption stories (of others, not us), editing or uploading photos, etc. Anyway, this morning's Bible verse was...

Psalm 127:2 It is no use for you to get up early and stay up late, working for a living. The Lord gives sleep to those He loves.

Oops! I think that verse was written for me.

So, I am going to have to be VERY brief because I need to get to bed. I cannot just start going to bed at 11:00, but I figure if I am there by 12:30 tonight, that is a start. I did have a nap today too.

I did want to give one follow up story. Remember how my kids were working for a Nintendo DS? Well, shortly after that post, a blog friend M. contacted me to let me know that she had a DS that she doesn't use anymore. She offered to send it to us. She told me we could set the price for the kids and then give that money to charity. Isn't God neat? It isn't that we needed a DS or that it was a high priority. I just love how God is in the details...even these little ones! Anyway, it arrived yesterday. I have already had some fun with it myself...one of the games that came with it is Brain Age which would have been first on my wish list. The kids quickly counted their money when we gave them a total. We are going to donate the money to our daughter's hogar; orphanages in Guatemala are really struggling with the halt of adoptions there. So, true to our word, we bought the kids their first game tonight. Now we will see how the "sharing" goes. I also need to figure out if we will limit the time on it or just watch and see.

Okay, my time is up. I need to get some Zzzz's. I want to obey His word. Plus, I exercised a LOT more than usual today (not on purpose necessarily) so I am wiped out. :)

More later.
Reba

Words of Affirmation

Tonight my husband gave me one of the sweetest gifts. He complimented me on my role as a mom (initiated by a discipline decision I made and stuck with amid the cries of unfairness). They were words I needed to hear because it had been kind of a long day, partially due to some children and partially due to me. Anyway, I am blessed by his words of affirmation.

To me, being a mom is the hardest job in the world. There are days that going and facing 20 kindergarten students is easier than being at home. It isn't that I don't love my "job". I do. But to me motherhood is the ultimate responsibility. I think about it ALL of the time. Almost anything I do throughout the day has a purpose. Yet, to me (the control freak), one of the hardest parts about being a mom is that ultimately, my kids will decide what kind of people to be. I can do (or try to do) all of the "right things" and yet they may take very different paths than what I hope for them. I am guessing God must shake His head and laugh at me...here He gave Paradise (Garden of Eden) and what did His children do?

I am a bit of a perfectionist, though I have "eased" up in that part of my life in recent years...more for my sanity than anything. I want to do my "jobs" well. And parenthood to me is THE ultimate job. Yet no other role makes me feel like more of a failure on a daily basis. Some of the feelings of failure come from me. "Why did I react that way? Why did I raise my voice? Why didn't I see what she needed from me?" And some come from the kids (not necessarily them but their actions...), like "Why is he acting like that? How did I go wrong? Is she always going to have that trait?"

I am thankful I have a mom to talk to. She is my "parenting expert" (Just look at how I turned out :) and can be counted on for good, fair wisdom when facing parenting dilemmas. I am fortunate to have friends and family to share my struggles with. It is comforting to talk to my sister and find out that our kids are doing some of the same things. You would think with four kids, I would feel like more of an "expert" in this area, but they are all so different (yet not one of them is a quiet, reserved type...wouldn't you think the odds would be in my favor on that one?). I am grateful for co-workers, many of them "experienced parents", who can give me the view from the other side of the road I am trying to cross. I am blessed even with Facebook. When I post about a trying time or make a joke about the day, I have encouraging words (most of the time) in moments. Same for my blog friends.

Still, there are some days I worry about my blood pressure. I am a worrier and as a mom, worry is a constant companion. I tend to analyze every behavior. And I want to respond in the right way for each of them.

I do believe the Bible is my guide for life. And it has some good advice and commands for parents. I am always quoting for my husband, "Fathers, do not exasperate your children..." But it is a guideline for life. I have yet to find the verses that tell me when to take a pacifier away or how to handle "screen time" with my kids. I need a manual.

Ultimately, I realize I can only do my best (realizing and truly holding that belief in your heart are too totally different things) and basically hope for the best. I can pray. I can be consistent. I can be firm. I can be loving. I can meet physical needs. I can encourage. However, in the end, they will choose for themselves who to be. And none of the worrying in the world will change that. That would be the "free will" we learn about.

Some days I wonder if I should spend as much energy and thought on it. We all know people who had really rough childhoods come out on top...wonderful citizens and successful in life. And we also know that sometimes parents with only the best intentions who invested all of their time in their children end up on their knees in tears watching their children choose poorly whether it be crime, drugs, or even just getting caught up in the world. When I think about those times, it is tempting to wonder, "Why bother?"

But God has given me this role. And I take to heart the command to do all unto Him. And that includes parenting. So for now I will stay the course, even though the course can be a bit daunting at times. I will continue to commit myself to guiding my children. And maybe, just maybe, I will learn to "let go and Let God" in times of worry. (Don't laugh...it could happen) And of course I will pray. I will pray for my kids and the life He has planned for them. And I will pray to give thanks for the toughest job I have ever been "assigned to"...hopefully out of this role, I will become more the child of the King I was designed to be as I lean on Him in my weaknesses (which I am finding are many). Sounds good anyway. :)

Reba

Raising a Reader

I want to preface my blog post with a statement that I am not an expert. I am not an expert on anything. I never want to come across as someone who knows it all. I always feel like "experts" end up getting really humbled in the end. You know those parenting experts? The ones with no kids? Look at the kids we, I mean "they", end up with. :)

As a child, my parents would take me to the public library. I would leave with a stack of books. I often was found with my nose stuck in a book. Even now, I love to read a good book but I have to limit myself...once I start reading, it is very hard for me to stop. I tend to forget there is life going on around me...a house, chores, kids. That kind of stuff. So now I save big reading for trips, either airplane rides or long rides in the car.

I was thinking today about my kids. They are readers. Okay, only two are reading words at this point, but they all seem (at least at this point) to have a love for books. I would love to take credit for all of it, but I cannot. They have had wonderful teachers who have introduced them to the joy of reading. I would like to think that surely I have fostered that in some sense though. As a teacher and a mom, I thought I would share a few "raising readers" tips.

1. Read together. I would love to say, "Read daily with your child." And I can say that. However, I live in this very real life. It doesn't always happen. So I will just say, "When possible, read together." Even though the big kids read novels on their own, they still like for me to read out loud to them. For our youngest, reading is a big part of his bedtime routine unless he is exhausted. He loves to get a book (he even chooses his own).

2. Load up the bookshelves...if your child has a certain interest, pursue it through books. Our oldest son's bookshelves is full of books about sharks, presidents, and sports. Even when he was young, he had a big interest in sharks. So we bought a bunch of books, lots of different levels, on sharks. Our daughter's shelves are full of books about pets, fairies, and some popular characters like "Judy Moody" and "Junie B. Jones". Our other daughter loves the classics right now (Cat in the Hat, Green Eggs and Ham) as well as fairy tales. And our youngest son LOVES books with real photographs and touch and feel books.

3. Model. Mark and I are both pretty big readers. Like I said, I don't get to read full books often, but I am usually found reading a newspaper or a magazine throughout the day.

4. Invest in "easy reader" books. I remember when Child 1 was in first grade. He was reading, but I worried about whether he was reading enough. He just seemed to lack the confidence he needed (trust me, that has since passed). A dear friend of mine told me to buy the "easy readers". I went to the bookstore and bought a whole basket full. Of course, four kids will benefit from that one purchase. I will advise you to look through beginner reader books...you cannot trust their levels. You want simple but interesting sentences. You want good picture support. You want something that will interest your child.

5. Place books strategically. We have books all over the house. The kids all have bookshelves, as does the toy room. Our living room has a basket of books. And one of the best places we have found for books? The pockets of the car seats. When our youngest gets in the car, his first question is, "Book?" I usually give him a couple to look at. I have the older two clean out their "pockets" occasionally because they bring out new books but don't always take away the other ones...to the point of overflowing. I cannot tell you how many times we have gotten home and I had to tell Child 1 we were home. He was so involved in reading, he never noticed!

6. Treat books as a privilege. If one of the kids has a rough night, we actually will take away a book reading for the night. And believe it or not, it hurts them more than most consequences. We obviously don't want to do that all of the time, but we do hold it over heads in the evening...

7. Establish a quiet time. I have mentioned before that on the weekends and in the summer, we have a mandatory 2 hour "rest time". The two little ones sleep during that time. The big kids read. They don't have to sleep but they do have to be in their rooms and be quiet. (We do have some leeway for them...sometimes they hang out with Dad or color, etc.) Either way, they seem to do the most reading during this time period.

8. Seek out books. If your child is in school, he/she likely gets book orders. Book orders are a GREAT way to build up the library...good prices, wide selection. When the kids get an order, I give them a maximum I will pay then let them choose what to get. Other places to check: garage sales, consignment shops, half.com, book sales. And of course, the public library. We have a hard time getting there for some reason but when we do, the kids think it is the coolest place to be.

9. Make books easily accessible. Child 4's books are in baskets on a shelf in his room. He can go in and grab a book at any time. For the big kids, they have book "dummies" which are rulers. That way they can "mark their spot" on their bookshelves without losing it while they read, plus it keeps their shelves fairly neat.

10. Finally, encourage. We didn't let our oldest see the movie "Marley and Me" until he had read the book. Child 2 is reading Little House on the Prairie right now. Afterwards, I hope to show her some episodes of the T.V. show. She is also asking to visit Laura Ingalls Wilder's home...that is a hope for me to do with her sometime soon.


As I said, I am not an expert...and sometimes kids just struggle with learning to read. We may encounter that yet. But for now, I hope to continue to encourage my rising readers...

I'm Making a List...

I have been working on a grocery list all day. I am still not done. Okay, not focused on it all day. I started it this morning and haven't finished it. That means tomorrow when I am supposed to have my Sunday nap, no nap. I get to go to the store. Just to defend myself a little bit, I am trying to get back on my routine of planning for and shopping for two weeks of meals. We do so much better about eating at home, eating healthier, and not shopping as much when I do. It is just an ordeal to get the list organized.

Anyway, we had a nice leisurely day at home. We relaxed but did a few things too (laundry, cleaning out the girls' room...that is a neverending process). The kids just played for most of the day unless we needed them for cleaning. Oh, I gave Child 3 a "computer lesson" today. She hasn't been very interested in computer or video games. She has tried the Wii a couple times and didn't care for it. And she has never really played on the computer. She will be doing that at school this year, so I gave her an intro lesson to the mouse. She is getting the hang of it. It looks like I will need to have a few more lessons with her. Usually parents are trying to get the kids OFF the computer. I am trying to get one ON the computer.

We have cable boxes now to go along with the HD. And I love all of the choices I have as far as channels go. However, in my room,with the box, the words that are spoken do NOT match the mouth on screen. It is like watching Kung Fu, except it is on shows like Property Hunters and House. Surely there is a fix for this?

I think I am falling apart. I don't think my ankle will ever be the same. It isn't as swollen MOST of the time but it still swells on occasion. But if I am still for a while and stand up, I usually stumble because it is stiff as a board. I have never been athletic so unlike my sweet but unsympathetic husband I have never really dealt with injuries, and I have definitely not as a busy mom of four. And lately I cannot sleep the right way. I have a neckache or a shoulder ache. And I have had a dull headache all week. Today I started thinking maybe I was just dying (though technically we all are). I was trying to figure out who would take care of Mark and the kids. Yes, this is how my mind works. I don't know why. Maybe tomorrow will be better. And maybe I should work harder on organizing our lives, house, and finances just in case I am a prophet.

A few things I need to remember:
Last night our firstborn was saying he wished we had kept his baby brother's birthname. I told him he was welcome to name his child that someday. He said, "What? No, my son's name is going to be Dwight. And the next one is going to be George, and the third one is Nathanial." By the way, these are all named after historical figures. We did tell him that usually a wife gets some input too.

Tonight Child 4 asked about fireworks. We only got to see a few on the beach before the 4th (and couldn't find any ON the fourth); the ones we did see were small potatoes compared to regular fireworks. But he has been asking daily about them. I guess we need to get him to a Naturals game to watch some on a Friday night. Anyway, tonight at dinner, he asked about them again. I told him that no, no fireworks tonight. All of a sudden, he starts shooting his fingers up in the air and throwing out all of these sound effects, booms and gun sounds. He did a whole fireworks show for us. He is a funny kid!

Child 2 got the Little House on the Prairie books for her birthday. She LOVES them. I had visions of reading them together, but she cannot wait. I get to read an occasional chapter, but for the most part, she is reading them on her own. She asked me the other day why they called their parents "Ma and Pa". Anyone have an answer for that?

Child 3 has shots coming up. I told her that she has to have shots to go to school. She has informed me basically that she will not be getting shots. I think she is a dropout before she even got through kindergarten! This should be a fun doctor's appointment.

I have more I wanted to say, but Mark is going to bed, and I probably should too. We are actually going to church tomorrow...it has been a month! (Not that we are just skippers; we have been gone a lot)

More later (hopefully),
Reba

Quick Prayer Requests

I have two prayer requests this morning. Both involve young men named Jeremy. One Jeremy has been dealing with cancer for quite a while. He has had some recent setbacks and has to be in the hospital right now. Please pray for his pain to go away and that he can be at home. He and his wife have an amazing strength that awes me. I am praying for God's healing touch for him. The other Jeremy was just diagnosed with cancer. He is young, married, has young kids. I doubt that cancer was on their life plan...is it ever? Again, they both have a strength and faith that awes me. He is having surgery this morning to have a "port" put in that will make his cancer treatments easier. Please pray for them as they start this "new normal" in their life. God has shown Himself in amazing ways already as far as their doctors, timing, etc. Please pray for his complete healing and for the testimony they have throughout this experience.

Thanks!

Young Entrepeneurs

On the trip, Child 1's friend brought along a Nintendo DS (something I myself had thought of getting at times). The two oldest LOVED it. They would beg him all the time to play it. Suddenly their Leapsters didn't hold the same appeal. So of course, their question on the way home (not a smart thing to do when facing the costs of vacation) was "Can I have a Nintendo DS?"

In the past I have always said, "Add it to your Christmas list." (Child 1 informed me he has before and still never received it.) However, this time I said, "Well, save up for it!" They looked a bit shocked to hear such foreign advice, but they started making plans...

Monday morning, I was groggy and just trying to figure out where I was (as in home, no longer at the beach...). Child 1 was already busy making a sign to offer some products and services. He was offering to do detective work, sharpen pencils, and sell candy. Then Child 2 got involved and decided to sell seashells (which I cannot say fast for anything) too. They set a table up outside and waited for customers.

I will admit. I am going to be honest here. I cringed a little. I wondered, "What will the neighbors think?" I don't know why I was a little embarrassed...I did these things as a kid too. I guess it is because I always feel guilty when I drive by little stands in our neighborhood and don't stop. I didn't want anyone else to feel that same guilt. (I rarely have cash on me and usually if I am going, I need to be somewhere fast...) Plus, I know it doesn't sound too noble to raise money for a DS as compared to charities and such. (Both kids do have generous hearts though and have contributed in their own ways throughout their young years) But...it is what it is.

Regardless of all my doubts, I didn't stop them, though I suggested that the candy might not last long in the sun. And it did end up in the fridge not long afterward. :) But as the morning progressed, business started to pick up. Know what the best seller was? Shells. They sold well. Oh, the shells were not from our recent trip but past trips. Anyway, a little while later, Child 1's friend came over with some lemonade, and the kids sold that too. I got tickled when his mom and I were talking via Facebook. She said that her son had just come in and said my son had given him a 25 minute lunch break. (I informed my child later that I was pretty sure law dictated a full half hour :)

In the end, the kids made $18.50. I think some of our neighbors were a bit generous in their payments. I suggested that they needed to give our neighbor some money for the lemonade, but they insisted that he insisted that wasn't necessary. Wasn't that sweet?

A bigger shocker than selling shells by the sidewalk was that they decided together to go in TOGETHER to buy a DS to share. Really? Did they really decide that together? I was shocked. I told them they would have to have a plan for sharing, and they informed me they were already thinking about that. Child 2 even told me that she got to choose the color as long as it wasn't pink (per Child 1's request). So I went from embarrassment/discomfort to a little bit of joy in knowing that my two oldest children were working together for a common goal. That is a rare thing around here!

They have a ways to go to get enough money. We are going to reinstate allowances which we have been miserable about paying in the last two years which should help. And I have informed the kids that at our upcoming garage sale, any money they make from their toy sales is theirs. Hopefully they will keep the momentum going and reach their goal together. (I did tell them I would buy them their first game once they bought one)

As for me, I am going to start keeping some change/small bills in my car...you just never know when you are going to pass a lemonade stand...

Reba