Are You There God? It's Me...

Margaret.

As a child I read all of the time. It was rare for me not to have a book in my hand.  Yes, I was a nerd. And I am okay with that.

I still am, and I am okay with that too. The only thing that keeps me from having a book in my hand all of the time is this whole real life thing. I tend to forget about it when i am reading which doesn't fare well for my family or house. :)

One of my favorite authors was Judy Blume.

She had a book called Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret.

I loved the book but apparently I also loved the title.

When I am in a hard situation and I am calling out to God, that is the first thing that comes to mind every time.

By the way, I always say it in my mind with a "reet" on the end instead of "ret" because I think it flows better that way.

Anywho, I find myself saying this a lot recently.  Or at least thinking it because if I went around and said it, some might find that a bit odd.

We are having a more challenging time in life. It is the end of school.  Life is busy.  We are experiencing some "growing pains" with one of our kiddos. We have some bills rolling in that seem a bit overwhelming.  And though I love vacationing, we set our vacation plans before those bills started rolling in so now we are kind of "stuck" with going because otherwise we are out all of that money. 

So lately I find myself standing in the hot shower, letting the water run down my back, as I cry out.

Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret.

I know deep in my heart, He is there. But sometimes I feel so alone. I feel like I am calling out and nobody is listening.

Some days I want that personal answer. I want a neon sign saying "Go this way".  "Do that."  I want some stranger to walk up and say, "Hey, I don't know you but God told me to let you know things will be okay."  I would love to open the mail and find a check for just the right amount for a bill that came due that day.

 I know it happens.

I read about it.

But it doesn't seem to happen to me.

So I despair.

And yet each nigh (well, most nights), when I sit down to write in my gratitude journal, I am reminded.

He is there.

Maybe not in the obvious ways.

But He is there.

Here are just a few of the "gratitudes" I have recorded in the past few weeks...

• an article that reminds me we are not alone
• friends who offer counsel
• someone who listens and offers help
• watching God use the trials of life to help others
• opportunities to become a better mom
• friends who defend my family (and love on me in the process)
• small victories
• the opportunity to cry with a friend
• friends who listen and offer support
• an opportunity to talk to another adoptive mom
• an e-mail of encouragement from someone I was trying to encourage
• friends who strengthen me in the Word
• a hospital bill paid (and the HSA to cover it)
• an encouraging e-mail
• laughter after a tantrum
• time spent with a friend being "real"
• an e-mail of prayer from a friend
• a lower grocery bill this week
• a good day
• a belated Mother's Day note from a child
• a child's good day
• resting in the Psalms
• the freedom of a budget
• listening to a child's giggles as we play badminton

Are they the kind of answers that we all rush to post?  Will they give people chills to hear?  Would any of them be considered miracles?

No.

But I have been reminded over and over that though the times are still tough (and show no sign of letting up for a while), He is there.  And He shows me each day.

It isn't necessarily the out and out answer for all of our ills and troubles.

But He is there.

Listening.

Guiding.

Loving.

I just need to take time to notice.

More to come,
Reba

Counting the Blessings...

I am really not planning on turning the blog into a "gratitude only" blog.  Nor do I want it to be a "post once a month" blog. Life has just been extra busy, extra tough, extra challenging. When I finally get a minute to st down, I seem to fall asleep. :)  Maybe with spring break coming up next week, I can catch up on reading and writing blogs...

But since I have just a few extra moments of energy left, I thought I would catch up on some of gratitudes for the past few weeks.  Trust me, I will only share a small portion.

I am grateful for...

• watching my former students (now first graders) perform in their Dr. Seuss program
• a cold Coke after a long day
• reading a Bible verse at just the right time
• a husband who goes to the grocery store for me in the snow
• the legacy of my grandparents
• dancing freely around my bedroom to my favorite songs
• afternoon naps
• the friendship of co-workers
• a peanut butter chocolate shake made by Child 2
• seat warmers in my van
• watching Child 4 crack open eggs for dinner
• waking up with the dog stretched out next to me
• a snow-covered lawn
• late breakfasts
• new recipes
• the prayers of friends for my children (and me)
• a snow day with my husband
• yoga pants
• Scripture cards
• sunshine
• the Psalms
• a day in the woods
• a butterfly
• a partial rainbow in the sky
• waterfalls
• large icicles hanging next to a waterfall
• large boulders
• a new friend
• an encouraging e-mail
• reminders of God in the hard times
• a surprise cupcake from my love
• Chocolate peanut butter ice cream (Haagen Dazs)
• late night shopping with my children
• time to talk to my mom (rare)
• snacks in the lounge
• watching birds play in a puddle
• the messages on our new message board (at home)
• the gift of Google maps
• friends who take pictures for me when I can't be there
• a surprise McDonald's Coke from a co-worker/friend
• three days of peace
• mercy and grace
• bunnies hopping across the lawn
• the sound of tree frogs
• the opportunity to serve others
• a friend who truly understands
• beauty from ashes
• lobster tails dipped in butter
• new devotion books
• the sweet spirit of a child
• renewed friendships
• parents with generous hearts
• cooking time with child 3
• a work out in a light rain
• the trees budding
• a husband who gets up early to fill my car up when my gas light is on

So...what are you grateful for today?

Reba

More Gratitudes...

Oh, goodness. I have not shared any gratitudes for 2 and a half weeks.  I have written down approximately 75 in that amount of time.  Don't worry...I won't share them all. I will just share some highlights. :)

• picking Marley up from the Doggy Hotel on a recent trip
• room service
• chocolate covered strawberries
• getting lost in a good book
• a toddler's crooked grin
• watching cousins hang out together
• a Valentine Prezi from my husband
• freshly fallen snow
• staying in pj's all day on a snow day
• birds singing outside the window during my quiet time
• the sound of ice melting off of the roof
• a child's fervent prayer for salvation
• a newly painted bathroom at school
• story time with my students
• hugs from sweet students after snow days
• a daughter who steps in to help
• a tear-faced apology
• seeing my students all grown up
• a God who loves me and is there in the hard times
• a family night out for pizza
• a teacher who goes above and beyond
• a puffy coat on a cold day
• a stranger that lets me (and my car) in during busy traffic
• a friend who thinks of me and brings me a treat 
• shakes and popcorn night
• my daughter getting up and going to church even when feeling exhausted
• a warm pup curled up at my feet on a cold day
• an unclogged toilet
• baked potato soup in a bread bowl
• watching snow drift across the street as I drive
• an empty Goodwill box
• looking through old pictures of my kids
• working out right after school
• blueberry pancakes
• glimpses of the sun on a cloudy day
• a clean sink
• child 4's creativity with his Legos
• a happy dog when I come home from work
• a love note on the mirror from my husband
• dinner out with a friend
• watching the eagle cam

What are you grateful for today?

Reba

Thankful Thursday Thoughts...

It was a long week. I really hoped to share some other thoughts this week but I should have known it was too ambitious a dream.  We had parent/teacher conferences this week (which means staying about 10 hours after hours then coming home to do home stuff throughout the week).  It was a challenging week as a parent.  It was a tiring week as a teacher (kids get a bit rowdy for Valentine's Day parties...).  But somehow I made it through.

And even in the midst of all the stress (and there was lots), I found some things for my gratitude journal...

• watching my daughter with her friends, all dressed for the semi-formal dance
• pizza night- no cooking!
• my camera
• holding my husband's hand
• sweet hugs from students as they leave for the day
• my reading room
• a drive through the Boston Mountains on a beautiful January day
• watching my daughter play her game (volleyball) with passion
• listening to the giggles of teenage girls in the backseat of my car
• a gas station off the exit right after the gas light comes on
• the breathtaking view of the University when we top the hill on I-49
• an "I love you" from my youngest child before I leave
• the smell of banana nut muffins drifting through the house
• the big yellow moon in the sky
• answered prayers during parent/teacher conferences
• a husband who picks up the kids from school so I can do conferences
• thinking about the beach
• a Sonic drink surprise from a friend
• sitting down after a very long day
• comfortable shoes
• new books from a book order
• a quick evening snooze
• a beautiful bright pink sunset at the end of a long week
• Valentines from my sweet students
• cooking dinner with my oldest child
• finishing my last parent/teacher conference for the week
• watching my students write
• an understanding e-mail from a friend

So I have a few things to be thankful for.  What about you?

Reba

Gratituding...

It was another busy week. (And next week will be even busier with parent-teacher conferences)  There were a lot of sad things this week (friends facing loss) that I could easily allow to consume me.  But even in the hard times, I must remember He is faithful.  There is much to be grateful for.

Things like...

• a husband who fills my car up with gas
• a chilled Ghirardelli dark chocolate square with sea salt caramel filling
• a friend who checks in on me
• a glass full of cold water
• laughter among friends
• getting seated at a restaurant much earlier than expected
• an evening out with my family
• a salted caramel cupcake
• a handwritten thank you for a dear friend
• Souper Bowl lunch with my colleagues
• lesson plans turned in early
• a cross country/track coach who encourages yet challenges my child
• a fluffy dachshund blanket on a cold night
• the weekend
• a car that lets me in on the busy interstate
• dress shopping with my daughter (and agreeing on a dress!)
• baked potato soup in a bread bowl on a cold night
• coming home to find my husband and youngest child watching Star Wars together
• dress shoes on sale
• a day of rest
• Razorback red
• watching the snow fall from the sky
• Super Bowl Sunday with my family
• watching my youngest speak loud and clear during his school performance
• a happy half-birthday wish from my sister
• friends who open up their hearts and homes to foster
• safe travels
• hitting 10,000 steps for the day
• an organized pantry
• former students who remember me
• sharing parenting struggles with my sister
• the brightness of a full moon
• reading a testimony that glorifies God, even in the sadness
• a sweet e-mail from the mother of a student
• thirty minute faculty meetings
• a good medical report for a good friend
• group text messages (with my "team")
• listening to my youngest read to me
• snow covered bushes
• cooking with my daughter
• a warm house on a cold day
• the prayers of our children

So...

What are you grateful for this week?

Reba

Another Week, Another Gratitude

I really do plan on getting back to Thankful Thursdays (rather than Thankful Fridays which just doesn't sound the same).  And I really DON'T plan on only posting once a week.  It was just a week. Not a bad week.  In fact, it was a fairly good week. Just a busy one.

I don't want to just skip over sharing some gratitudes for the week, so here we go...

• Jamming to 80's music with my co-workers during our workout.
• God's word-finding that right verse at just the right moment
• Finding out one child was generous with a sibling (without prompting!)
• Playing with playdough with my youngest child
• Teachers who let me know when my child isn't feeling well or seems sad
• Airplanes that safely bring my love home
• Watching robins hop across the grass in search of food on a January afternoon
• Friends who encourage my children
• Hearing something good about my child from his teacher
• The way Marley rolls onto her back for a tummy rub
• Jean day!
• My favorite pond at sunset as a horse slowly walks behind it
• Finding an unopened bag of pistachios at the back of my pantry
• A child who does his/her chores without complaint
• The Lord's Supper
• My Bible Fellowship class
• Curling up with a good book
• Friends who deliver packages for me
• Walking laps with a good friend after school
• A day of sunshine after a cloudy day
• A trusty van with heated seats
• Laying on my exercise mat under the bright blue sky with the warm sun shining on my face (in January!)
• The funny things my kinderkids say
• My new dolphin necklace from Guatemala
• Beautiful flowers delivered to school
• Time alone with my oldest as we drive to and from church on a Wednesday night

So, how about you? What are you grateful for this week?

Reba

Thankful Thursday (Even Though It's Friday)

I had such good intentions of writing this post up last night. I really did.  I got to this page (the blank post) and pretty much fell asleep at the wheel. Or in this case, the computer. Hubby has been out of town the last couple of nights, so I have been the sole chauffeur, cook, disciplinarian, etc. on top of my daytime job.  I am wiped out. 

But even in my exhaustion, I have much to be grateful for.

Here are some highlights from my gratitude journal for this past week...

• The bare trees silhouetted against the endless blue sky, not a cloud to be seen
• Buds on the bare trees that remind me new life will come again
• Walking around the track after school, enjoying the 50 degree temperatures (in January!), enjoying the solitude after a busy day
• A stack of good books to read
• Answered prayer
• Fellowship with other Christian ladies
• Turning my alarm off on a Saturday morning
• Waking up next to my husband
• A meal with my mom and my kids
• My oldest child's sense of humor
• Doing my quiet time with a chocolate/peanut butter shake in one hand while the stinky dog gnaws her elk bone next to me
• Rocking a newborn baby as he sleeps
• Reaching 10,000 steps in a day
• Family game night
• My husband's fingers brushing against mine
• Pastel ribbons of light stretched across the sky as the sun rises
• Walking in the sunshine with a friend
• The American flag (and all it represents) silhouetted against the blue sky
• The whole family gathered around the table for dinner
• The brilliant colors of the sky as the sun sets
• Watching birds soar in the sky
• The soothing sound of our dishwasher cleaning our dirty dishes 
• The glowing lights of a cross sign peeking through the brush alongside the highway
• Finishing a puzzle with my daughter (even though we still can't find three pieces)
• The shimmering sight of the frost against the earth in the early morning
• A love note left by my sink, left by my husband before he went out of town
• A bottle of white sand representing a promise
• A mom who helps with the kids when my husband is gone
• Finding out about a couple of random acts of kindness performed by some of our children (with no fanfare)

So....
what are you grateful for this week?

Reba

Finishing the Race

As I have mentioned before, our oldest child runs cross country.

He did NOT get that running gene from me.

At all.

I have been pushing myself to run around the school twice without dying.  And I am not there yet.

This kid actually likes running.

The other day I asked him how his afternoon was. He was happy. They had run 7 miles.

I will admit, it sounds like crazy talk.

At the same time, I am so glad he has found something he likes to do.

And I admire him for it.

The one thing he has always said though is that he will ONLY run cross country. He has never liked track.

Ever.

Sometimes in cross country, they practice on the track.

And those are his least favorite days.

So imagine my surprise when he announced one night that he had track practice the next morning.

Say what???

Then a few days later, he announced he was NOT running track.  Ever.

Then a few days later, we again heard, "I have track practice in the morning."

Confused?

Yes, we were too.

Apparently the cross country coach is also one of the track coaches.

And he has encouraged the cross country kids to run track to stay in shape.

And apparently, my runner child looks up to his coach.

So he agreed.

Reluctantly.

So fast forward to yesterday afternoon.

The first track meet.

Thankfully it was local and even better..inside.

Hubby and I had to tag team this weekend. Our oldest daughter had a volleyball tournament in Tulsa. Our younger volleyball player had two games here. And then we had this track meet. So he took the youngest child to the volleyball tournament in Tulsa, while I stayed here with the other two for their activities.

Before he left, Hubby said, "Just to warn you, track meets can be boring. There is a LOT of waiting around for events."

Well, our day was full yesterday. I made my weekly grocery store trip, put my refrigerated/frozen items away, then quickly headed to the youth center so child 3 could have her volleyball pictures.  Then we waited around for a little bit until it was time for her to play two matches.  After that, we returned home just in time to grab a little snack, pick up child 1, and get the pup in her crate.  Then we raced down the road to the University's indoor track.  (While the weather was quite nice for mid-January, a track meet outdoors would have been rather chilly)

Just getting to the track center was a huge feat for me. I did not go to the University, so I am not at all familiar with their campus. I had an idea where the track center was but would NOT have found it without my oldest child.  And parking at big events makes me break out in a sweat. Yes.  Seriously.  But somehow I managed. We parked (quite a ways away because there were 1600 participants present) and entered the facility.  Thankfully we spotted the coach almost immediately. He estimated that Child 1's first event would start in about 45 minutes.  We left our runner to get his bib number and warm up, then we found a place to sit.

This is where the fun begins.

No, not the actual track meet, though I enjoyed a lot of it too.

The fun "God happenings".  Little moments I looked back at later and thought, "Wow, that was such a God thing."

We just chose a place to sit where I felt like we would have a fairly good view.  I saw nobody I knew.

It turns out my son's high school group had their stuff there and they ended up sitting in that same section throughout the afternoon/evening.

So at this point, we were pretty fresh and eager to watch.  We really enjoyed the pole vaulting and hurdles.  Then the races started.

Did I mention there were 1600 participants?

We watched several races.  And time passed.

Finally, finally, finally, it was time for Child 1's first event...the 1 mile run.

Three hours after we got there.

My son's goal for himself was to not come in last.

And he didn't.

He didn't come in first either but that is okay.

Like I said, he isn't crazy about track.  Speed is not necessarily his strength.  Perseverance is.

At this point, my parents had arrived, then my dad had to leave to go watch a basketball game.

So my mom came to sit with us.

God happening #2.

I have been wanting to spend more time with her, and finally had that opportunity!

By now, I was understanding how the track world is.  It truly is a lot of waiting.  And I knew my son's second event was almost at the end.  We were all hungry, and child 3 was quite restless. Though the bleachers were nice, I was quite sore after a few hours.  And I had promised the kids Chick Fil A (a rare treat for us) for dinner.

I quickly looked up the closest CFA's hours. They closed at 10.

I did some quick math in my mind, realizing that we would probably be finishing child 1's last event at 10.

Did I mention how hungry we were? I had eaten breakfast then a quick snack mid-afternoon. No lunch.

While there were concessions, I had resisted them because I really thought we would be done around 8, ready to eat our Chick Fil A.

What to do, what to do.

My son's second event (the 3000 meter run which is basically a 2 miles run) was finally coming up.  But I knew he was in the third heat, cutting it really close with the restaurant's closing time.

And that is where the God happening #3 occurred.

I watched as the second heat prepared to run and realized my son was in the group. They had decided to combine the second and third heat.

The gun went off, and the runners started.

I knew from the first lap that my runner was spent. He was exhausted (LONG day) and hungry. He just couldn't get his momentum up at that point.

But you know what?

We all just cheered him on.

It warmed my heart up to hear his teammates cheering for him no matter where he was in line.

And finally he finished.

That is when God happening #4 occurred.

As my son left the track, I saw another kid run over and shake his hand.

I asked him later who it was.

"A random stranger, someone from another school, who congratulated me for finishing."

Warmed my heart. Big time.

At this point, my restless girl and I ran to our car (mostly, I had to stop to catch my breath a few times because as I have mentioned, I am NOT a runner) then pulled up to get my mom and worn out runner.

We hurried to Chick Fil A, arriving fifteen minutes before they closed.

We placed our order, then drove to the window to pick up the food.

God happening #5.

"The people in front of you paid for your order, a kind of Pay It Forward thing..."

I almost started crying.

Our order was 31 dollars.

I so wish whoever it was could know how they warmed my heart. Many times over.

We went on home, worn out but grateful for the day.  It was extra special because my mom came home with us to eat, a rare treat.  Child 1 was quite entertaining in his exhaustion.  Lots of laughing and devouring of food.

This morning in church, I mentioned the track meet in relation to life.

We run this race, exhausted and sometimes in pain.  But we keep our eye on the finish line.  Heaven.  And finishing the race is worth it.

My Sunday School teacher pointed out that Paul never said that winning was the goal.

Our goal is to finish the race.

Which is exactly what my son did.
  
2 Timothy 4:7
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

Thank you, God, for the reminders of the good You have created.  For restoring my faith.  And for encouraging me in this race of life.

More later,
Reba 

A Gratitude Journal Begins...

One of the goals I have this year is to read more, both for pleasure and for growth (of myself). 

For whatever reason, I found several books all at the same time I want to read. So I broke one of my own rules and started reading them all.  I typically only read one at a time.

One book is called The Best Yes.

Another book is called Live Well, Spend Less.

And the third book is called One Thousand Gifts.

So far I am enjoying all three, though I have a feeling there will be some growing pains (for me) as I read more of them.

Anyway, in the book One Thousand Gifts, the author keeps a gratitude journal.

I started thinking about how I love my Thankful Thursdays.

And then I realized a gratitude journal was just what I wanted to do to.

Partly because I do have so much to be grateful for.

And partly because I need to be reminded of what I have to be grateful for.

Because I sometimes struggle.

With discontentment.

Maybe not sometimes.

Maybe a lot of times.

Anywho...

Here is a sampling of what I have added to my gratitude journal thus far (and is my Thankful Thursday post as well):

• Fun notepads (a Christmas gift from Child 3) to use for a gratitude journal
• A clear and organized kitchen counter
• Fuzzy warm slippers on my feet on a cold night
• Reading glasses that magnify the words on a page
• Pressing the snooze button for just a few more minutes of rest
• Outside recess
• Sushi dates with my husband
• The quiet of the house when I am the first one awake
• My new Wow Hits CD
• Journaling with my daughter to learn more about who she is
• A sweet memory text from my sister out of the blue
• The look of complete adoration of Marley's face as she waits for me to pet her
• Melted butter on a warm roll
• The sweet spirit of forgiveness
• A gift of medicine samples from the doctor

So...

What are you grateful for this week?

Reba