How Do I Love Thee?

Yes, I am still gratituding (most days). I am sure I will have plenty to share on Thursday. That being said, last week was a tough week. I can only hope this one will be better.  Please.  Pretty please?

So I have written several posts this past week. In my head.  Like "The Life of a Teacher". "Omaha Fun".  "Down and Out in Ozark Hills".  "Poster Child for Adoption". Yes. All of those.

But I settled on this one when one of my children, yet again, asked, "Do you really love me?"

So this is written to my children and husband.

Some tongue in cheek.

Some truth.

How Do I Love Thee?

Let Me Count Thy Ways...

• Even after a full day of watching volleyball games, I still go to the grocery store to buy food to cook for you all week.
• I clean the sink out any chance I have, just because I know you like it that way.
• I get the smallest shake with the leftover ice cream on shake night.
• I listen to endless dialogues about Star Wars characters.  Or at least I pretend to...
• I stay up until midnight cleaning, preparing food, etc.  Then I am up early in the morning to start the day, pack lunches, etc.  And I usually end up with about 10 minutes to get myself ready for the day.
• I am the last one to sit down to eat our pancake/bacon dinner. While you all are eating, I was at the griddle, flipping pancakes. And my bacon is cold by the time I sat down (to an empty table).
• I went to a volleyball tournament. On Valentine's Day.
• In fact, I spend many good hiking days watching volleyball games. Inside.
• I get up early on Sunday mornings (when I really would rather sleep) to make breakfast for everyone.
• I share my prized pistachios with you.
• I sit next to you with sports blaring on the t.v. just to spend time with you.
• I sit through countless music programs, choir concerts, school presentations, etc.
• I reach out to your teachers (without you ever knowing) when I know you are struggling or hurt or treated unfairly (or so you think).
• I watch you do the same trick on the trampoline thirty million times, oohing and ahhing every time.
• I note the things you notice or like or mention for possible future gift ideas.
• I huddle in the cold to watch you play soccer or baseball.
• I don't read books often because I know I will get lost in that world and forget about you.
• I go to Target late at night for that list minute friend birthday gift or a wardrobe crisis.
• I go to school earlier than I wish each day because you signed up for early morning activities.
• I leave school early each day though I know I could work there for hours (at night and on the weekend).
• I search for Coke bottles with your name on them.
• I sit through cartoons for Popcorn/Shake night.
• I spend a lot of time wrapping all those birthday gifts that will be open in 3 minutes.
• I stay up at night, holding your sick body, wishing I could take any and all illness away.
• I take family vacations instead of the extensive travel I would like to do.
• I read books, I pray, I talk to friends, all to find out how to be a better mom (and wife).

I know there are many more but I must head to bed.

How do you show love for your family?

A Love Story

I was always picky.

I would go on a date, come home, call my mom, and then give her a list of ALL of the reasons I did not want to go out with the guy again.

Other than a junior high romance, long term relationships were NOT my thing.

In college and after, I had a couple of "crushes".  Big crushes.  Crushes that changed the course of my life in a way as I changed colleges and for another changed where I lived.

Yeah, those didn't work out either.

And at the time, I cried out to God a lot.  Now I was 24 and still single, an "old maid" among my friends. 

All I longed for was a man to love me.  A marriage like I had grown up with watching my parents.  The "soulmate", the "one".

One day I was at a church event with the college/career "kids".  You know the ones...the single group.  The ever changing singles group since people would invariably pair up, marry, and leave. 

It was at someone's house, a Hogs watch party.

I was introduced to a new guy to the singles group.

Mark Cloud.

Oh my.  Did he look young.  He was fresh out of college; I had been out of college for a few years.  I thought he was adorable but incredibly young.

Not too long after that, we were sitting in church.  I just happened to be sitting next to him.  We had one of those moments where we stood up to sing or pray and were asked to hold hands with the people next to us.

If you don't know me well, I have a sense of humor.  I really do.  In fact, there is a lot more to me than most people ever really get to know since I know I can come across fairly "prim and proper" on the surface.

I looked at that young whippersnapper and asked, "Does this mean we are going steady now?"

I really was being silly since honestly I hadn't given much thought to him.

He told me later that comment scared him to death.

All of that to say that it is truly a God thing we ever got together.

Not too long after that, a group of us "singles" gathered at a friend's apartment. I really don't remember why we were there or what we were doing.  Just that we were both there.

And for whatever reason sparks started to fly.

Later that week, I had a message on my answering machine asking me for a date.  I wish I still had that message because it was very sweet.  "Even if it is just grading papers with you...I think anything would be fun with you."  (Maybe at that point he realized that I really did have a sense of humor)

Our first date?

Applebees.  Then we went shopping for a semi-formal dress for me for an upcoming Singles Christmas dinner.

Yes, shopping.

A few days later, he came to pick me up (you know, we were "carpooling") at my second job at Dillards.  My boss had so graciously allowed me to get off a little early to change for the dinner.

We went to the dinner as friends.

After the dinner, we went back to my apartment (which was like a dungeon but was all I could afford)  and just talked.  And talked.  And talked.

I still remember other people from the Singles group calling and asking if we were coming to hang out.  I don't remember our answer. I just remember that at that moment, there was only one person I wanted to hang out with.

That week he came to my school's Christmas program.

The next week or two was Christmas.

I was really sick at that point.  I remember being at home (which is where my parents still live) and hearing the phone ring.  My mom told me it was for me.  As sick as I was, I ran to the phone (because they were still corded in those days).

My mom later told me the fact that I wanted to go on a second date was her clue...this was the one.

Fast forward to May of 1996.

I know he has a ring.  In fact, I have tried it on a few times.  But it is still in a box, still tucked away.

I am in my classroom, packing up for the summer.

School is out.

I turn around and see that face, the face I love.

And I wonder, "Why is he here?"

Then as he gets down on one knee, I know.

And of course, I say yes.

October 1996.

We stand in front of friends and family at that same church where we once "held hands" for a prayer.

And we vow.

Vow to love, to cherish, to honor.

Until death do us part.

Here we are 17 years later.

He still makes my heart pitter patter when I hear his voice on the phone or unexpectedly see him in the hallways of my school.

Please know, it hasn't always been easy.  And it isn't a fairy tale.

We have both made a lot of mistakes.  There were times we haven't always liked each other.  Loved, yes.  Liked, no.  We have had arguments.  We have cried.  We have had losses.  We have had struggles.

And a lot of that was just in the first year of marriage. :)

Our life is not an easy one some days.

We have four kids, all with their own challenges.  We have one fuzzy dog...okay, she is actually one of the easier parts.  We have bills to pay.  Decisions to make.  Crazy schedules with church, school, and sports.

There are days I miss our early life when things were simple.

Or so they seem now.

As I get older, I realize that there is so much more beyond this life.  I long for the day we are released from this world and all of its pain and suffering to spend an eternity with our King.

I will admit, though. The one part that makes me a little sad is that the Bible indicates that we may not really be "husband and wife" in heaven. I am not sure if we will know each other or even remember a moment of this life we have had on earth.  The one good thing is that if that is the case, the Bible also says there are no tears or sadness in heaven so I won't "miss" it there like I would here on earth.

What I do know is that there isn't anyone I would rather live this crazy life with here on earth.

He is not perfect.

I am not perfect.

But together, we just work.

(We often quote Rocky..."She's got gaps, I've got gaps, together, we got no gaps...")

He is my best friend.  My love.  My encouragement.  My confidante.  My partner.  My companion.  My lover.  My encouragement.  My soulmate.

And I am so thankful that God brought us together.

I pray and hope for many more anniversary celebrations to come.

Happy anniversary, Mark Cloud!

Love Always,
Rebs

Making the Time...

Our lives are crazy right now.

They just are.

I work all day.

After school, I am still working.

And a couple days a week I do intense workouts.

When that fun is up, it is into the car for the shuttling of children for evening activities. 

Baseball, cross country, church, gymnastics, volleyball.

You name it, we just might be doing it.

(And yet we laugh because we really do limit activity with the kids but with 4 of them, even limiting ends up being a lot)

There are many days we just have to "divide and conquer". 

"You take child 4 to his baseball game while I go cheer on Child 2 for volleyball then I will go watch Child 1 in his choir concert.  Child 3 can go with you..."

That was an actual conversation last week.

It was a busy night.

Thankfully not all of them are that busy but this time in our lives, we are busier than ever.

And because of that, I find myself wanting to be purposeful.  To be intentional.

I kind of referred to this in my last post about late night walks.

We (being the Hubs and me) have got to reconnect.

It could be really easy for us to get caught up in our kids and their activities. 

But we need to remember to get caught up in each other too.

So that means making time.

Being purposeful.

Coming together.

Sometimes that means those late night walks.  We just had one of those tonight.  The dog really needed a walk around the neighborhood.  But it also gave us that time to just chat and reconnect before another busy week.

Sometimes it means getting the little ones to bed and leaving the oldest "in charge" while we run out for a late night meal.  Or on days when that won't work, just picking up an order or two of sushi and sitting together at the table talking.

Sometimes it means a grocery store shopping trip together...nothing says romance like choosing ripe bananas and milk for the week...

Sometimes it means watching a favorite t.v. show together.

Or hanging out in the attic together looking for fall/winter clothes for the kids.

It means texts in the middle of the day saying, "I love you".

And remembering to write what I love about him on his picture frame.

It means planning a weekend getaway to celebrate our anniversary.

It means leaving little cartoons or articles out that  I know he would like.

It means sharing about the day, even the mundane.  Not long ago, I mentioned an update on a house near us that was getting a facelift.  Before I had even finished, he said that he had noticed too and wondered if I had seen it yet.  It isn't life changing information we share but just the fact that we are...

We don't have a perfect relationship.  

And there are times that we irritate one another.

But the fact is, he is still my best friend.

And though our lives are busy, I don't ever want them to be too busy for "us". 

After all, in just a few (or many) years, the kids will leave home.

Trust me, they will.

And when they do, it will just be the two of us together again.

When that happens, I want us to still know each other. To still love each other.  To still be the best of friends...

Reba

A-Walking and A-Talking

One or two nights a week, I flash my pearly whites, flutter my black mascara eyelashes, and use my sweetest voice...

"Are we going for a walk tonight?"

More often that not, even when he is really tired or there is a great football game on, he agrees.  He being my main man. 

I don't know that it is really for me or perhaps for the dog.

Either way, I love late night walks with my hubby.

We leash up the dog, grab some bags, and head down the street.

I think the teenager doesn't really mind being in charge for a few minutes since the others are sleeping AND he gets free reign of the remote.

And me?

I treasure the time.

I get some exercise.

The pup is SOOO happy bo be outside.  (She starts running around the house once she sees me slip on my walking shoes.)

And I love the one on one time.

No interruptions (other than occasionally that little pup).

No electronics to distract.

Just me, just him, just a pup.

And the sky.  The star filled sky.

And LOTS of fresh air.

Sometimes we are silent.

Sometimes we talk.

Sometimes we laugh.

Sometimes we just listen.

But always we reconnect.

We come back together after a crazy whirlwind evening.

And we enjoy it.

Every moment.

Or at least I do...

Reba

41 Reasons to Love

him...

1. He is handsome.  Still makes my heart swoon when I see him.  
2. His humor.  We need that humor to get through this cray adventure of life.
3. His dedication to being a father. Not just a father but an involved father.
4. He does laundry.  I really try to stay on top of it. I feel like it is "my job" but times when I can't, he doesn't say a word. He just throws a load in.
5. He keeps the sink clean.
6. He is self-motivated.  I am proud of him for starting his own company and for getting up daily and working even when the rest of us are snoozing!
7. His love for Christ.  He is sold out. Completely.
8. His sense of adventure (evident in marrying me, adopting not once but twice, etc)
9. He grills a mean burger.
10. He is safe...nowhere I feel safer than in his arms.
11. He is romantic.  Flowers.  Love notes.  Etc.
12. He is honest.
13. He is wise.
14. He is completely head over heels for our little pup...he completely lights up when she walks in the room.
15. He is laid back (about some things).
16. He is a leader...at home and in the community.
17. He is organized.  Well, at least for work.  We are still working on some spots at home. 
18. He is a "do it yourself" man.  Ice maker isn't working?  We figured it out.  Vacuum was broken. He fixed it.  He is currently making me a compost pile...all on his own. Much like he did with the loft in my classroom.
19. He is loyal to God, to family, to self.
20. He takes Child 1 golfing.
21. He takes Child 2 to the movies.
22. He laughs and humors Child 3 on the roughest days.
23. He takes Child 4 to baseball games (if anything, to give me a break).
24. He is my favorite "co-cook" in the kitchen...he browns ground beef and fries up chicken while I work on the other stuff.
25. He drives. And drives. And drives.  With mostly no complaint. :)
26. He gives of himself daily...just for us.
27. He apologizes...with heart.
28. He sends me random love texts for no reason at just the right time.
29. He expects nothing.  
30. He gives great hugs.  
31.  He runs errands like quick trips to the grocery store for us.
32. He takes me on late night sushi dates.
33. He plays in the backyard with the kids.
34. He is fun.
35. He is a good friend.
36. He keeps secrets/confidences.
37. He is trustworthy.
38. He loves me in spite of myself.
39. He is comfortable in social situations...doesn't think a thing of attending events with me even if he knows no one.
40. He takes us to the beach every year without complaint. :)
41. He is love.

I am a blessed woman.

Happy birthday to my main main...

I LOVE YOU!

Reba

Gettin' Away

As I mentioned in my last post, our 16th wedding anniversary was this past Friday. I went home for lunch and returned to find these waiting for me...

I know a lot of women say that flowers are a waste of money.  And they are not really practical. But they do make my heart happy. And I am thankful for a man who knows that and indulges me once in a while.

On Saturday morning, we packed up our car, waved good-bye to the kids and my mom, and headed down the road to the big D.  As in Dallas.

A night getaway.

Just the two of us.

We may or may not have skipped to the car with giddiness.

We had about 5 hours to chat, catch up, just enjoy one another's company with NO interruptions as we cruised down the road to...

Ikea.

It was my first trip to an Ikea store.

We had a product in mind which is how we ended up in Dallas to begin with.

Bookshelves.

Shelves to be used for many reasons, none of which really involve books.

Darn Pinterest.

Driving to Dallas and staying in a hotel was actually cheaper than having them shipped to us.  As long as you don't count the shopping we did while there. :)

Very thankfully, what we wanted was in stock.  An hour or two later, we had them loaded in our car and we headed down the road to check out some other stores (not nearly as exciting).

Saturday night we had dinner at The Melting Pot, a fondue restaurant.

Oh yum.

It was definitely a splurge.  A treat.  A "not going to happen too many times in my lifetime" meal.

And the biggest splurge I have had since I started my diet.

But it was worth it.

At least until I step onto the scale again.

On Sunday, we made a couple other stops at stores then enjoyed one last meal...deep dish pizza. It wasn't quite the same as Chicago's but it was pretty good.

Then we returned back home to our reality, crazy as it is.

A little refreshed, a lot happy.

We love our kids but we sure do love our getaways together.

:)

Reba

Sweet 16

16 years.

16 years ago we stood in front of friends, family, students, and most importantly God.

I stood in my long white dress, my veil covering my face.

I looked at him, looked into his eyes.

I heard his voice tremble as he declared his love for me.

Was it fear or was he overwhelmed with this beauty before him? :)

We vowed.

We promised.

For better or for worse.

In sickness and in health.

Until death do us part.

When we uttered those words and sealed them with a kiss and a prayer, we had no idea.

No idea what was ahead.

Financial struggles (that first year was rough).

Tears. Lots of tears.  (Mainly me...again that first year was rough...probably more for him than me :)

Lost jobs.

Found jobs.

New business.

A lump in my breast.

Two births of biological children.

Two adoptions.

Five trips to Guatemala.

Four "homes".

Trips to the beach.

Weekend getaways to San Diego, San Francisco, Chicago.

A visit to our nation's capital.

Weight gained, weight lost.

The death of three grandparents, one uncle, and one stepmother.

The challenges of parenting.

Building a house.

Moving.

Numerous vehicles.

Debt.  Debt paid off.

Family stresses.

Concerns.

Prayers.

Lots of prayers.

Hikes.

Visits to Silver Dollar City.

Two trips to Disney World.

One little fluffy puppy.

Busy activities with the kids.  

Lots of laughs, lots of tears, an occasional disagreement, and lots of love.

If we had known, would we still have chosen to say those words?

I would like to think so.

Life is hard.

We live in a fallen world.

And until He comes, it is not going to be easy.

And it hasn't been (though I know it could always be worse).

Especially this past year.

This past year has been extra tough.

But it is part of our lives.

And I cannot imagine another person I would rather face each day with than him.

He is my best friend.  My confidante.  My strength on the hard days.  My encouragement.  My gift from God. My helpmeet.  My partner.  My love.

And while the 16 years has been a roller coaster ride, having him holding my hand on both the ups and downs, had made it a ride I will always treasure.  I can only hope and pray that we have many more years together (though on occasion I wouldn't mind hopping off the roller coaster and jumping on a much slower paced ride :).

Happy anniversary, my love.

Reba

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Find Out What It Means to Me...

Admit it.  Aretha Franklin's voice is now going through your mind.


This word has been running through my mind (as well as the song) for a couple of weeks now.


When I first came home and found out that my husband's job had been eliminated, I was in a state of shock and numbness.


Then I moved to being a little upset.  Okay, a lot upset.


After all, he had done nothing wrong.  He devoted his time and energy to this job.  In fact, when he was asked to go work for this company, I was a little worried about commitment on their part since it was a new position.  So I admit, I felt a little betrayed by this turn of events. And a lot defensive.


I am not a fly off the handle person for the most part.  And I tend to stay on the side of reason most of the time, even when my emotions tell me otherwise.


But in this case, I wanted to do something.  To protect my own.  To defend.  To speak my mind.


For several days, I had a running e-mail going through my mind.  It wasn't hateful but it was defensive of my man.  I mean, I love him.  I felt like he was a little wronged in this situation.


I don't know how many times I wanted to sit down and type it out.


In fact, I almost felt like I would explode if I didn't. 


I felt like a volcano with the lava just bubbling, waiting to erupt.


The thoughts wouldn't stop.


I would lay down to sleep, and in my mind, write that e-mail.  I would brush my teeth, composing just the right words in my head.  I would stand in the shower with hot water splashing on my head as I searched for words and phrases that articulated my every though, my every feeling.


Then I mentioned to my mom how much I wanted to do it.  All in the name of love.


And she, being the spoil sport moms can be, told me not to.


What???


I mean, she understood what I was thinking. What I was feeling.  My deep love for my man.


Why not?


Her response?


Respect.


Respect your husband.


I assured her it would be done because I DID respect him.


She again said no.


Don't you hate that voice of reason?


She said that as much as I love my hubby, he is a big boy.  He didn't need his wife to run in to defend him.


Ugh.


That is what my heart wanted to do.


But my mom was right, darn it.



Ephesians 5:33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.


As much as I longed to, I needed to respect my husband.  He is a man. He can take care of himself. Thar doesn't mean I can't do my job at home as an encourager.  Or let him know that I believe in him.  But as much as I want to run in and put up my dukes to protect, I can't.  I have to know (and I have to let him know) that he is the man, a man capable and confident who can face his own battles and struggles.  Not with me in front of him, shooting off at the mouth.


But behind him.


Showing him respect.  In silence.


Reba

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise...

Think that title in a Gomer Pyle type of voice. :)

Since I am watching my calories these days, I have to carefully plan which day I want to "splurge" (not count them). On Friday, I was cooked out. I really wanted to go to one of my favorite spots (Catfish Hole). Our youngest child had been telling me he missed going there. Suddenly I had visions of hush puppies and stuffed shrimp going through my mind.

But I also knew that Valentine's Day was coming up. We had already ordered pizza from our favorite Chicago pizza joint (it comes via Fed Ex on dry ice!) for our Valentine's dinner.

Yet I just had this gut feeling that there COULD be a surprise coming my way.

Hubby had mentioned looking into some things.

I went ahead and ate fairly lightly for breakfast and lunch.

Finally we talked about dinner.

I just point blank asked.

"Is there ANY possibility we will be going anywhere tomorrow? If not, I want to splurge on my calories tonight at Catfish Hole."

He did give me a hesitant look. Then he assured me we should go to Catfish Hole.

By the way, my "splurges" are NOT pig out sessions. In fact, I am still probably eating way less calories than I used to on a normal day.

Anyway, yesterday (Saturday), I went back to counting calories. I even only ate 1 waffle in anticipation of making mostaccioli that night.

By the way, I thoroughly enjoyed sleeping in until 7:30 yesterday morning since Child 3 did not have a basketball game. We just lounged around the house (avoiding going out in the cold). We cleaned up some paperwork. Straightened up the kitchen. Worked on laundry. It was just a nice leisurely morning. Even better, Mark took two kiddos out to buy a couple of things they needed.

Around lunch time, I checked my e-mail and found a message from my husband (who was across the room from me) with the title "Thought you might enjoy this..." When I opened it up, I saw a confirmation for that night at the Loft Hotel in a nearby town.

"Um, dear, what is this?"

He smiles.

That sweet handsome fella of mine had been lying to me.

He DID have a surprise.

A night away.

He even had a sitter for the kids and the dog.

"Just be ready by the time Child 2's games are done so we can get going..."

At that time, I was walking around in pj's. I had paperwork everywhere (gathering tax stuff). I was working on laundry. And had no idea what to think.

Then dear hubby informed me that not only were we going away for the night, we were heading to the new art museum (Crystal Bridges) the next day (being today).

I asked, "Can we watch a movie tonight?"

It is VERY rare for us to go to the movies.

If we get a "date night" out, we usually go out to eat or something like that. Not go to the movies.

But I had been reading about a movie called "The Vow". And I had just been thinking that morning, "I would love to go with Mark to see that."

He said that sounded great and even got right on the Internet to buy our tickets.

I went ahead and ate fairly light for lunch, anticipating a popcorn dinner at the movies.

Then hubby left to take Child 2 to her volleyball games. I stayed home to get ready for the night and to hang with the little ones since it was their naptime.

I did not get to take a nap. A small price to pay for a night away. :)

Finally, Mark came home (Child 2 went out with friends for the evening). We threw our stuff in the car, gathered up the remaining children and the dog, and headed to my parents' house.

We said our good-byes.

The kids were more than excited by the way. The dog, well, she was a bit antsy when I was packing. But she always has fun with my parents' doxie.

Then we headed down the road.

We are like little kids when we get a night away.

Free of responsibility.

Giddy.

Maybe a little too happy. :)

We checked into our hotel room. (I was a little worried we were splurging too much but he had gotten a special on it which was even better)

Then at the last minute, we decided to hop across the street (via the car since it was bitterly cold at that point) to eat dinner at a yummy restaurant. Crabby's. Seafood of course. And steak.

Dadgum those calories.

I had already splurged.

I couldn't even splurge for the week ahead since I am doing that on Valentine's Day when I enjoy my Chicago pizza.

I decided to eat sensibly but enjoy myself too. And just take a loss in the calorie department.

We were fortunate.

We got to the restaurant early.

Their first question (since it is the weekend before Valentine's Day)?

"Do you have reservations?"

Of course not. We are flying by the seat of our pants. Being spontaneous. Etc.

Thankfully there were some tables in the bar area that were open since every other table was reserved.

Dinner was delicious.

I ate as lightly as I could while still enjoying my meal. And I just knocked off the rest of the calories left on MyFitnessPal app. Probably "undercounted" but that was okay. It was a special occasion.

By the time we finished dinner and paid our bill, we were cutting it close with the movies.

Thankfully hubby knows the area better than I do. He took the most direct route to the theater. And we made record time.

VERY thankful we had already bought the tickets and were able to by-pass the line.

We walked into the movie and found a very full audience.

We were able to squeeze in partway up.

Most people who came in after us had to sit up front. The neck-ache rows.

As hard as it is for me to resist, I did NOT get any popcorn. I really tried to be somewhat healthy.

Oh, loved the movie. It was romantic, but not sappy romantic. Just a nice movie to enjoy with one you love.

One little perk with the movie was that it was set in Chicago (unlike the actual story which was set in New Mexico). Since we went to Chicago for our anniversary, it was like taking a walk down memory lane every time they showed Chicago landmarks. :)

After we left the movie, we went straight to the bookstore and bought the book the movie was inspired by.

By the way, the book (now renamed "The Vow: The True Events that Inspired the Movie") is very different from the movie. I knew that going in. And I highly recommend the book. It is a beautiful story of love and faith. Just don't expect it to be the movie.

And yes, I have read the whole thing already.

Nights away don't have to be romantic the whole time.

Sometimes that means he can watch t.v., I can read.

The best part is we are doing it without interruption.

This morning, we enjoyed sleeping in without any children OR dog waking us up (though I admit, I missed the little furball wanting to snuggle...she wakes up early in the morning and curls up with me until I get up).

We lounged then went to the hotel gym to work out together. Well, in the same room. He did the elliptical. I hopped on a recumbent bike. It was still a treat. We rarely get to exercise at the same time. Hopefully we worked off a few of those extra calories we had consumed at dinner the night before. :)

Then we freshened up and headed further down the road to the museum.

And since this is pretty long already, I will save that post for another day. :) I guess this story is "to be continued".

Reba

From This Day Forward...

Tonight I attended the wedding of one of my co-workers. Lauren accompanied me. (I had originally thought all six of us would go but due to the time of evening, I thought it was best to pare down our part of the guest list.)

I had a wonderful time. Several co-workers were there. Getting to visit outside of school in the summer is quite a treat. I just really do like the people I work with. We are all very different but that makes us a pretty strong team. A few of us even got up and danced (with myself, I use the term loosely :). It was just a beautiful evening. I wish I could have spent it with my husband too but he was home with the others (which includes the pup).

But this is not really what the post is about.

No, this post is about marriage.

As I watched my friends face each other tonight, her dressed in a beautiful white dress, him all "spiffed" up in his suit, so many thoughts came to mind. Almost fifteen years ago (in October), we were the ones standing before family and friends as we exchanged rings and vows.

I remember.

I remember feeling like a princess.

I remember feeling like we were the only two people in the room.

I remember feeling like my heart would pound out of my chest as I changed my marital status, my name.

I remember feeling like I was the most blessed woman in the world.

Now here it is fifteen years later.

I don't feel quite like a princess anymore. Maybe the ugly stepsister. Not that I ever truly had an hourglass figure, but what little figure I did is now hidden behind the flab that seems to come easier as I get older. There are wrinkles around my eyes and possibly even a gray hair or two. I just try not to look closely.

Only two people in the room? Not hardly. We now have four kids and a puppy with us almost all of the time. It is rarely quiet here and the conversations we have are often interrupted by quarrels and tattles.

My heart? I don't know if it pounds. I hardly have time to think about it. But I do know it still goes pitter patter. Maybe not every single time I see him. But when I see him unexpectedly, I feel it. My name? It has been my name for so long now, I hardly remember when it wasn't.

And the blessed part?

I still feel like I am the most blessed woman in the world.

So to my coworker/friends...

May the love you feel today continue to grow.

May God bless your marriage, your household, your future.

May you always remember today and truly believe it was one of the greatest days of your life.

From this day forward...

More later,
Reba

Top Chefs

This past year, we transitioned from reality shows to cooking shows for our television entertainment. We started watching shows like "Chopped", "Top Chef", "Iron Chef", "Cake Boss", and "Cupcake Wars". Ironically, I often watch these shows while I exercise on my elliptical. :) It isn't that we spend hours watching t.v., but after the kids have gone to bed, we often turn the TV on while we do other things like fold clothes, exercise, surf the Internet. And these are often the shows we turn to in such times. I have a real appreciation for food, so watching these shows is really fun for me.

I didn't realize how much influence these shows had until we started looking at our food presentation at restaurants, using "food lingo" like "reduction" of a sauce, and heard our oldest daughter ask one day how her "plating" was for whatever food she had just made.

I often watch these shows with my mouth watering, secretly hoping that I can be a guest judge, especially if the food consists of seafood of any kind.

Anyway, I digress (as usual).

Not long ago, I mentioned to Mark that my favorite dinner to make is tacos. It is the one meal ALL of our kids love to eat and we (being Mark and me :) usually make it together. It is rare for us to both be in the kitchen otherwise.

So not long ago, Mark said, "I think you and I need to cook together more often...like maybe try a new recipe together every other week (coinciding with our "off weeks" with Life Groups)." That is one reason I love this guy. He hears what I like, then tries to figure out a way to make that happen more often. Isn't that thoughtful? It is such a precious way he shows love for and to me.

Anyway, tonight was our first cooking night. We let the kids choose a video to watch (a treat for them), and we went to work in the kitchen. It was my turn to choose a menu. I have been craving PF Chang's, so I did a little google search and found a PF Chang's copycat recipe for Mongolian Beef. That is one of our favorites there. I also found a recipe for fried rice. Then as a bonus, last night on another friend's blog, I saw a recipe for Molten Chocolate Cake. I thought that might be a fun dessert which is a rarity around here...usually dessert is a small piece of candy.

There was a snafu here and there. I really thought I had gotten ginger which is important in Chinese cooking. No luck there. So we had to use the powdered stuff. And for whatever reason, I did get fresh cilantro which doesn't typically go with Chinese food...oops! My fried rice didn't turn out quite like I had hoped...I think it needed a little more sauce and a little more fried. But an hour later, we had a nice little meal on the table...

The Mongolian Beef was delicious. It tasted just like PF Changs' beef to me. The fried rice...well, it worked. By the end of the meal, it was pretty much all gone, so I guess we didn't do too bad for our first time.

After dinner, I sent the kids (and Mark) to watch the end of the movie they had started, then I went to work on the molten chocolate cake. It is a very easy recipe. I have these nice little ramekin dishes I have been itching to use...they came in perfect for this. The only trouble I had was that a couple of the cakes ended up being a bit more molten than I had hoped, but in the end, it all goes to the same place, right? We scooped out a little ice cream and then had some dessert...

I will say the dessert was a HUGE hit with my kiddos. They seemed to enjoy every bite. Maria told me about every two minutes just how good it was. I think we will be making that again some time. (I will also say that it was really RICH. I LOVE chocolate but I could not eat it all...)

So, for our first cooking night, I would say overall it was a thumbs up experience. I loved being in the kitchen with my main man. And of course, food is a particular love of mine. So how could we go wrong with this combination?

Mark gets to decide the menu in a couple weeks...wonder what we will cook up next?

Reba

Romancing the Stone

You have probably figured out (if you are really paying attention) that Friday nights are my worst posting nights. I have every intention. I really do. For some reason, by Friday, all of the week's fatigue catches up with me. And I just crash. I usually get as far as the title, and then do not have the energy to continue.

Anyway, since I have been thinking about Valentine's Day, I thought I would share a few Valentine's treats we have done for one another over the years. I am pretty sure they are from Valentine's though some may be from anniversaries. Let me add that some years we go "all out" for V-Day, other years it is just another day with maybe a special meal at home. It is always nice to celebrate our love but it doesn't always have to happen on the 14th of February!

One year, I think it was 2000, we went on a trip to Colorado to go skiing. Let me rephrase that. Mark went skiing. I stayed behind in the condo and cared for our firstborn, who was just a little tyke at the time. I did a lot of the printing at home for this project then took it on the trip to cut apart. A quick and cheap Valentines's gift...365 reasons I love you. Yes, I did. I wrote 365 reasons I loved Mark and then cut them up with scrapbook scissors and put them in a jar. That way, he could read one daily. I know that it sounds like a lot but it wasn't as hard as it sounds. I just broke them down into categories like "physical attributes", "work attributes", "how he helps at home", "fatherhood", etc. Then I did like 20 for each one. He never has read all of them...as usual, we just get busy with life. I need to go back and read them sometime...we only had one child when I did it. Life is a little different nowadays. (Oh, one year I took the ones he had read and was stuffing in his nightstand and created a little scrapbook of it)

I don't remember if this was for Valentine's Day, but I created a big list of questions and sentence starters in case we ever needed conversation starters. I guess before kids, that was a possibility. And maybe even after having one kiddo. Now that we have four kids, starting conversations is not such an issue. Staying awake for one is. :)
This was another early one. I made coupons for him, like for "one stupid" which he gave me pretty promptly...meaning he could do something stupid and I couldn't get mad. Not too mad. :)
There are some others I do not have pictures for...

One of my favorites was when I made a scavenger hunt with little rhyming clues. I sent Mark all over town finding clues (like at church, at a customer's office, the public library, etc.). Each time he found the envelope, he got a new clue AND a piece of a puzzle. On the puzzle were directions to a cabin I had rented about an hour away. When he arrived at the cabin finally, I had dinner waiting...what a wonderful weekend getaway we had. Nothing like building up some anticipation and keeping the mystery alive!

There is also the time (mentioned in my "Love Is..." post) that Mark came to school to try to read a love letter over the announcements. I don't know that most people recognized who it was since he choked up on the first sentence. I knew. He sounded just like he did at our wedding trying to read a "declaration of love".

I once left love notes all over the house...cheesy but true. Like the one hanging from the ceiling fan that said "I am a fan of yours..." or something like that.

One year, I made a special meal. I took our son to my parents' house for the night. I lit a fire in the fireplace (first time I think). Then I had a five course meal set up...each course in a different room with little love notes to greet him as we dined. It was very romantic, yet very simple. My favorite kind!

Of course, some years I get the big flower bouquets at school (though I am not one for the traditional red roses...I love white flowers like white roses or lilies or mixed flower bouquets). And some years, Mark joins me at school for lunch. Some years we just have a family meal.

This year I had thought about surprising Mark with tickets to a Queen tribute at the local arts center (it is supposed to be very good) and dinner out. But financially, I decided it was just not the way to go. Instead, Mark surprised me. We are going to the movies. A rare treat instead. (And even as costly as movies are, it is much cheaper than the night I had planned)

No matter how we celebrate, I hope he always knows how very much I love him!
Reba
PS Anybody else want to share Valentine surprises?

Love Is...

I have been thinking a lot about love. Must be love is in the air. Or Valentine's Day. So I thought I would dedicate a post to love. (Though there are many types and examples of love in my life, I am going to stick with the romantic kind of love this evening...)

Love is...

putting toothpaste on your wife's toothbrush every night, just because.

picking up a couple of cans of natural almonds that you know your hubby loves to eat when you are at the store.

going out in the freezing weather to fill your wife's car with gas since her light is coming on...

guessing your wife's weight to be thirty pounds lighter than it actually is.

seeing him in the halls at school and feeling your heart go all aflutter...

taking your family to the beach every year even though you would rather go snow skiing.

dressing your children in shoes even as little babies when you go out just because you know that is what he prefers.

surprising your wife at school with a lemon slush from Sonic.

picking up a big bag of peanut m and m's each holiday for the one you love even though you know having them in the house will be a huge temptation for you!

going to your wife's school and trying to present a love letter over the intercom as a surprise (but having to stop when you become too emotional...)

supporting your husband's decision to change jobs even though you yourself feel so secure in the job he already has, yet you know that the new job is the one that will make him even happier...

encouraging your wife to get her Master's degree even though it is more money to spend and a lot of time at home alone with the kids on the weekends while she goes to class.

not fainting or "freaking out" when your wife suddenly announces that she wants to adopt. Then reacting the same way when she comes back and says it a couple years later...

not telling your wife you lost your job earlier in the day right before her first baby shower so she can enjoy the baby shower, gifts, etc without having to worry.

sending a fax of disgust to the former boss who "let go" your husband (who doesn't know you are sending the fax) without reason, letting the company know what they truly lost.

driving to Orlando on your Christmas vacation, spending money you probably shouldn't spend, just because your wife asked you to...

encouraging your spouse to travel to the baseball College World Series even though it is your high school reunion (and you have already paid to attend).

never complaining when a tired wife says "Tonight we eat out or scrounge for food here...".

e-mailing him throughout the day just to say "I love you..."

getting up each morning to get breakfast ready for the kids while your wife has a few minutes to herself to fully wake up.

encouraging your husband to go to a basketball game even though that leaves you home with four kids, two of which have homework assignments that will use every bit of strength she has let for the day to oversee :)

giving your wife a "night off" each week during the summer so she can have a little time to herself after being at home all day, every day.

knowing that you can call your hubby and tell him that you just knocked the sideview mirror off the passenger side of your van while driving out of the garage, confident that he will not get mad at you...

To me, that is what love is.

What is love to you?

Next entry: Valentine surprises...

Reba