And this is a BIG But...
There are still things to be thankful for.
Even in the midst of trials.
Some things I am thankful for today are...
- unexpected time with family when they came in for Grandma's burial. It was not the reason we wanted for gathering but I treasure those family times. They just go too quickly.
- Mark's CT scan last week. The whole reason we know about this growth on his optic nerve is that we scheduled the CT scan based upon some family history. Looking back, we now see some "symptoms" (like blurred vision in that eye, a visual change, etc) but we had just attributed a lot of that to our age...
- my dear high school friend Melissa who showed up at my Grandma's visitation (unexpectedly). Not only did she just hug my neck but she also gave me a ring of Scripture cards. Very blessed.
- Prayers and encouragement from many. We had told some people what was going on but Mark felt like he needed to share the day of the MRI scan...on Facebook. We have been overwhelmed with the responses. So many praying for us.
- our God. He is good. All of the time. And tomorrow if we get bad news, He will still be good (even if it is hard for me to feel that for a while).
- no regrets. I will admit I have some regrets with my grandmother. I let the busyness of life keep me from talking to her as much as I should have. At the same time, as I face uncertainty with my future with my husband, I have no regrets. Not that we have had a perfect relationship. But I can say that he knows I love him. I try to show him daily.
- time. We are treasuring time. And even if the results are better than I hope, I don't want to lose that. A couple weeks ago, I deleted Facebook from my phone. I still get on there (via computer) but I am more and more putting my phone to the side and just enjoying the moment. (I was actually doing that before this but this has just confirmed my resolve)
- the furry dog that knows when I need some extra love.
- Child 2 for making me a milkshake the other night that just hit the spot. Food has been a problem for me recently...I want it but then it doesn't settle well with me. That milkshake hit the spot.
- Child 4's teacher who has given him extra love and hugs the past week. He is scared. He knows something is going on. It is heartbreaking. But she is taking care of him.
- A friend who has "been there" and sends me just the right words, who listens without judgment, who understands where I am.
- A principal who has supported me and helped me with an issue the past week when I didn't feel strong enough to do it myself.
- Sleep. Well, it is kind of evading me at the moment. But I have had some rest in the past few days. And when I do, it helps me face the day.
- Teacher appreciation week
- listening to my girls sing praise songs.
- my husband. I love him. Forever and always.