Sunday, April 24, 2011

A Living Hope

Yes, of course, I have lots of Easter pictures I will share. You know I have to do that. But it won't be tonight.

Tonight, as I head to bed at the end of Easter, I am reminded of hope.

God knows (literally) we need it.

I remember as a child hearing older people say that they couldn't wait to go to heaven one day. I also remember shuddering, though I was a believer, because so much of my life was ahead of me. I wanted to be married, to have children, to live a full life.

Now that I am older, I still (hopefully) have some life left to live.

But I also now understand where those people were coming from.

As I have gotten older, I realize what a fallen world we live in.

I also see more hurt, more agony, more pain each day of my life.

Marriages broken.

Children pushed aside.

Jobs lost.

Cancer. Oh, how I hate cancer.

Tragic accidents.

Loss of family.

Loss of friends.







The list goes on and on.

I find myself often weighted down with the worries of the world. Every time I sign onto e-mail or Facebook and find one more tragedy, one more need to pray for, my heart is so heavy. And I find myself longing for a new home. A heavenly home. The one without tears.

This year, especially after the difficulties of the last month with a loss of a co-worker, Easter means something more to me than it has ever meant before.


A Living Hope.

I find a hope in Christ I cannot find in others.

Others will fail me.

Christ never will.

Though the world looks dark (and it truly does right now as we continue with our third day of rain I believe), there is a hope.

God is still there.

When we were at the funeral last Saturday, it was a sad time. There were moments I felt like the tears would flow endlessly if I let them (which I typically won't...). But even then, my heart was not broken. Oh, it hurt alot. But it was not completely broken.


That hope.

I had hope until the moment I learned that she was gone that C. would recover, that she would be healed.

And she was.

Not necessarily the way I wanted.

But she was.

And now I have the hope of reuniting with her as well as other friends and family in heaven one day.

It will be glorious.



And then there will be no more tears. No more hurt. No more pain.

Thankful today for that hope.

More soon,

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Sunday is Coming

I feel like in a way I am cheating. Two links to videos in a row. Even with a few dozen posts swirling in my mind. But this is so appropriate for this weekend, I wanted to share. I stumbled upon it on Facebook when a friend posted a link to it. I was watching it on my phone when our youngest wandered over to see what I was watching. He was mesmerized. He asked for it again. Even in all his turkeyness, and he has plenty of that right now, this child gets it.

"Mommy, why did the soldiers nail Jesus on the cross?"

My answer every time, "I don't know."

I do know why but part of me still doesn't. How must it have felt to nail an innocent man to a cross? Someone who was hurting but not fighting?

I don't know.

His next question is always, "Why did Jesus die on the cross?"

He knows the answer. We have talked about it many times.

For us, sweet boy. He died for us.

Sunday is coming.

Don't know about you but I need that reminder sometimes. It is coming.


Friday, April 22, 2011


It has been a hard month so far. I keep reminding myself it is Good Friday. GOOD. Not bad. But I can't deny the month has been hard. There has been so much going on. A lot of it minor. Testing (both my own students then being out of my room the next week to test older students). A birthday party (fun but stressful). A four year old on a roller coaster ride of emotions and behavior. A house that needs work but this momma is beyond tired to do it. A major hail storm that came up suddenly yesterday car now looks like a golf ball. Dimples everywhere.

And of course, the loss of a faculty member...which in some ways is like losing a member of the family.

It has just been a hard month. Lots of sadness. Lots of tears. Lots of questions.

This song has been playing on the radio recently and I have found some comfort in the words. Thought I would share if you are looking for your own blessings, even in times of tears...

More soon.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Leaning Not on My Own Understanding...

My life verse is Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with ALL of your heart and lean NOT on your own understanding. In all thy ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.

It is not an easy verse to follow. I have to trust with ALL of my heart.


Not just a little bit.


Oh, I am already in trouble. All? Really?

Sometimes that is hard.

Most times it is hard.

All of my heart.

No doubts, no worries.

Just trust.

If you know me at all, you know how tough that is.

Lean NOT on my own understanding.

Tonight, once again, I am doing just that. I am not leaning on my own understanding because I have none. None.

I do not understand.

I don't get life.

I don't understand why things happen.

Whey we have earthquakes.



I don't get it.

I am not afraid to say that either.

"God, I don't get it." "Why?" "What are you plans here?"

Okay, so He doesn't typically answer. At least not right away.

But I ask anyway.

In all thy ways, acknowledge Him...

That is actually one of the easiest things for me to do.

I can acknowledge.

I just have to look at the sunset, watch the rain fall, look at the face of a newborn baby, see a rainbow in the sky, gaze at the delicate white lily.

I can acknowledge Him.

And He will direct they paths.

He does, you know. He directs our paths. Sometimes it is through the spoken word (ask my hubby). Sometimes it is through His word. Other times, it is through the wisdom of others. Or opportunities that happen to arise.

He does.

Sometimes I wish he would be a little more detailed in His direction.

But He truly does.

All of these thoughts come to mind today as my heart grieves for the family of my coworker, Mrs. P., whom I have asked for prayers for this past year. She is free from cancer, free from pain. But the rest of us are left to digest the loss.

I don't understand.

I don't.

I am trusting in Him.

Leaning on Him.

Because I have no understanding.

More soon,

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Put on Your Happy Face

I remember 9/11 very well. I was teaching, calendar I think. In the middle of my lesson, my co-worker, a male kindergarten teacher, asked me to step out into the hallway. He then told me about the airplane crashes. I don't think the second tower had fallen (and maybe not the first). It was all new news.

I remember nodding my head as he told me what happened, then turning around and walking back into my classroom. I just put on a happy face as I continued teaching the lesson. (While I take advantage of "teaching" moments, this moment was still very confusing. I chose not to share with my students at that moment because I knew so little. Plus they were kindergarten students. Their world stopped at the borders of our town.

It wasn't easy to do. Inside my head, all kinds of questions and worries swirled through my mind. That was the day there were "gas runs". Suddenly every ordinary citizen looked like a possible enemy. And of course, my heart ached.

But I am still a teacher. And I was there to teach.

This week, I am faced with a similar situation, though on a much smaller basis.

Late last week, we learned that our music teacher, Mrs. P., is ill. I have asked for prayer for her...she has been battling cancer.

Her body, her mind, her spirit. They are tired.

It has been a long battle.

And our hearts hurt.

We hurt for her. We hurt for her family. We hurt for us.

The sad thing to me is that my students don't know her. They have had a wonderful substitute all year, so that is who they know.

So much sadness, so much hurt.

But every day, I have to put on that smile face (even if the smile is forced, and some moments it is) and go teach my kiddos something new.

It is part of the teacher role.

We keep on, keeping on.

Even when our hearts are broken.


Saturday, April 9, 2011

God's Masterpiece

One of my favorite times of day is sunset.

About a year ago I started making a point to check out the sunset when possible. It rarely fails to take away my breath. What beauty! What glorious colors! What a masterpiece God creates each night.

The photos rarely do them justice. But I take them anyway. I have even considered a blog dedicated to sunset photos, but I am pretty sure nobody would be visiting that (not that it has stopped me from starting the others :). So for now, I just dedicate a part of my photo album on my computer to sunsets...

Here are a few.

A December sunset. I am sure my neighbors think I am crazy lady always stepping out onto the front porch to take a picture. Our house is in a great spot though. We live enough on a hill that I get a great view of the sunset each evening.
A February sunset
A March sunset
Tonight's sunset
A few minutes later...

I have plenty to blog about but I just felt the urge to share this for tonight. The color were once again brilliant. And once again, it took my breath away.

He is quite an artist, isn't He?

PS If you haven't done it lately, step outside one evening as the sun is setting. Just take in the view. I can promise that you will walk away with a little more spring in your step, a little more peace in your heart. Try it. :)

Friday, April 8, 2011

The Ups and Downs of Life

It has been a week.

We had some highs this week. For the most part, the kids all had good weeks.

My school found out that they won the National Geographic "Find Your Footprint" contest. We had a big day of celebration when the National Geographic people flew into town to announce us.

We survived testing week. Woohoo!

But there have been some lows. Or at least some downs.

Like a federal government shutdown looming overhead (that maybe, just maybe has been solved now). I realize that some may welcome that, citing extravagant government spending, but we are talking about innocent people caught in the crossfire of brother in law being one of them!

Allergies are in high gear.

One of my co-workers battling cancer did not have a good week. Please pray for Mrs. P. I am praying for wisdom for the doctors and strength for her family.

Seems lie we are having a high then a low pops into the picture.

I do wish sometimes they could all be highs.

Yet I know I wouldn't truly appreciate the highs without the view from the lows.

And that those lows are part of life.

Makes me long for heaven one day...

More soon,

Saturday, April 2, 2011

The Done List

I rarely make "to do" lists. Oh, don't get me wrong. I have them going in my head all of the time. I just rarely take the time to write them out. That would just be one more thing to do. :) Plus I would probably lose it in my pile of things to do. So I just don't.

There are days I feel like I am lazy. I look at my grandmother. She can run circles around me. And to think she had five kids, a farm, and a much different life (no microwave for example) and still did everything...well, I just feel downright slothful.

And some days I am.

But sometimes what I like to do at the END of the day is think about what I did accomplish that day rather than what I didn't.

And sometimes I find out I did more than I realized.

Such as today...

  • Got up before I really wanted to and made donut holes with child 2 for some quality time (and a yummy breakfast). Then I managed to photograph them and blog about them on the cooking blog a little later.
  • folded a load of laundry
  • got another load started
  • cleaned up the kitchen from our popcorn/shakes night last night
  • read the newspaper (I like to be up on current events)
  • scheduled the meals for the next week
  • made a grocery list based on the menu of meals for next week
  • played a game with child 2 on Wii (didn't really feel like it but sometimes we just have to do these things)
  • made lunch for child 3 and myself
  • mediated arguments and disagreements, dealt out consequences to any rule breakers
  • made the bed
  • put away clothes
  • responded to e-mails, texts, and blog posts
  • watched daughter's last basketball game
  • went to the grocery store on a whirlwind trip
  • put away groceries
  • made/enjoyed dinner with friends
  • made a dessert (fruit pizza) with Maria as a special treat
  • rocked a sweet baby (not ours)
  • cleaned up the kitchen/table after our meal
  • vacuumed up cobwebs and glitter in the dining room (no, they were in separate places)
  • played my turn in some Words with Friends games
  • read today's Bible reading and wrote on the Radical Experiment blog
  • wrote this entry for this blog :)
  • read a couple of magazines, noting interesting recipes or websites to visit
  • wore blue to support a nephew with autism
  • got some items for our Life Group tomorrow
The one thing I didn't do that I meant to was exercise. I instead feel like I ran a marathon even when I did no true exercise. I will get it tomorrow...

So I may not be my grandmother. I will probably never be. But I am getting some things done, whether they are on the "to do" list or not...