I don't know why.
I have no reason to be.
But I am in a funk.
I think a huge part of it is that I have had some kind of stomach bug (or I am hoping that is all it is) for a week now. It is getting better but I am still not quite back to feeling like myself. (This is aside from the horrible day we all had on Friday which I still believe was food poisoning; I promise I am a very thorough cook...it pains me to even write those words) So I have been pretty much homebound for three days straight now, with one little run to the store yesterday where I promptly felt sick again.
Another part is that I missed two days of school last week. I don't remember the last time I missed two days (they weren't in a row which actually felt worse). I have SO much to do this week at school, including finishing up assessments that I didn't get to do last week. Plus, that is where I get more of my adult interaction (even being with kinder. kids all day) than most places, so I am severely lacking that. It makes me feel "out of the loop".
I had gotten on a fairly good exercise jaunt (though short lived) until this stomach bug. Now I am going to have to start all over again. Ick.
You would think I would be losing weight dealing with stomach bugs. No luck. I feel bigger than I ever have in my life. Ick again.
I haven't quite caught the "holiday spirit". Yes, I know the true meaning of Christmas. We talk about it daily at our house. It just doesn't feel like Christmas to me. I don't know if it is the weather. Or that we changed a couple of "traditions" this year. I am actually more on top of gift buying than usual (thanks to a spreadsheet I have going), but maybe I have been too practical and not "holiday' enough. And maybe I haven't had the quiet times I need lately because that requires more concentration and attention than I have been able to give. I don't know. I just hope it catches on in the next week or so!
Mark and I have had little together time. For some reason when he is feeling sick, he doesn't feel very lovey dovey. :)
I am a little stressed about finances. I am trying to be somewhat careful with gifts and all. And we have so many asking for help for different charities; we are trying to help where we can. But at times it is all overwhelming especially with the economy. And I feel that though I doubt it is near to the effect some others have.
This has been a tough year, more for friends than for me. But it hurts my heart watching those I love lose those they love.
And realizing I have to have a dental checkup in just two days and have not been flossing which will be QUITE evident, which makes me feel like more of a failure than I felt before.
All that adds up to Reba in a funk.
Even in the funk, I can recognize a few things that are precious to me though...
- like waking up to the youngest singing "Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed" (probably to JoJo his stuffed monkey) over the monitor this morning. We didn't even know he knew that song.
- like when child 3 is playing with her cars and trucks on the floor next to me and out of the blue says, "I love you, Mom."
- like when child 2 crawls up into the chair (really a one person chair but we make it work) to sit next to me as we watch Madagascar.
- like when I get a text from a friend/co-worker letting me know that she can be at my house in my moments to bring us whatever we need (the day we were so sick).
- like when I hear our oldest talking to Ribby the II. That boy really needs a dog. (I don't...he does)
- like when my husband brings me pizza, a coke, and cotton candy for lunch. (I have given up trying to eat around my stomach bug. I am going to feel sick either way, might as well eat good stuff)
- like when child 4 tears across the room in horror as an alligator snatched up a duck on Madagascar (a bit of of horror and humor mixed together) all for a hug.
- like when we all stay up a little past our bedtimes to watch and laugh with Madagascar (a movie on a School Night?) just for fun and because we can.
I know there are many other things that I treasure. Some days I just need reminders. Now if only I can get out of this funk...