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I am back.

I haven't really been MIA.

Life has just been busy.

Mark was out of town all of last week.

I thought I would get a lot done while he was gone.

But instead I was in survival mode.

My accomplishments were getting the kids where they needed to be, both morning and night.  And surviving.

And I did.

I did start a blog post at some point.

But then I fell asleep before I finished it.

Now we are in remodel mode.

We are redoing the girls' room.

It is a slow process.

In that time, I have questioned whether I should continue blogging or not.  At least the family blog.  The cooking blog is a totally different experience.

To blog or not to blog.  That is the question.  Or was the question.

I love the family history on here because this is the only record I am going to have beyond photos of what our family is doing.

But sometimes I struggle with feeling like a failure when I don't post or when I don't post something "deep".

And sometimes I feel like I am talking to myself.

The image that comes to mind is Jacob wrestling with God in the Old Testament.  Except this was me wrestling with myself over the whole "Do I blog?" question. 

In the end, I have emerged with the decision.

I want to continue blogging.

I want my family to have these memories.  I want to share our struggles and celebrations as a family (and mine as a mom/wife) with family and friends (those who have taken time to read anyway :).  I want this outlet to share whatever thoughts come to mind, scary as some are. :) 

I am just going to have to let go.  Let go of the expectations.  I will have to forgive myself when I can't get on here.  And I just have to share what I can, deep or not.  I have to remind myself that this is our family history, the good and the bad.  And that some people are just not going to be interested in reading it. 

And that is okay.

So I will be back, though it may be after I help make Thanksgiving dinner. I have a feeling I will be in the kitchen a lot in the next 36 hours. 

After all, I have a Food for Thought Part 2 to share still (and I write it constantly in my mind...).

So stay tuned, my favorite few readers...

Reba