Are You There God? It's Me...

Margaret.

As a child I read all of the time. It was rare for me not to have a book in my hand.  Yes, I was a nerd. And I am okay with that.

I still am, and I am okay with that too. The only thing that keeps me from having a book in my hand all of the time is this whole real life thing. I tend to forget about it when i am reading which doesn't fare well for my family or house. :)

One of my favorite authors was Judy Blume.

She had a book called Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret.

I loved the book but apparently I also loved the title.

When I am in a hard situation and I am calling out to God, that is the first thing that comes to mind every time.

By the way, I always say it in my mind with a "reet" on the end instead of "ret" because I think it flows better that way.

Anywho, I find myself saying this a lot recently.  Or at least thinking it because if I went around and said it, some might find that a bit odd.

We are having a more challenging time in life. It is the end of school.  Life is busy.  We are experiencing some "growing pains" with one of our kiddos. We have some bills rolling in that seem a bit overwhelming.  And though I love vacationing, we set our vacation plans before those bills started rolling in so now we are kind of "stuck" with going because otherwise we are out all of that money. 

So lately I find myself standing in the hot shower, letting the water run down my back, as I cry out.

Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret.

I know deep in my heart, He is there. But sometimes I feel so alone. I feel like I am calling out and nobody is listening.

Some days I want that personal answer. I want a neon sign saying "Go this way".  "Do that."  I want some stranger to walk up and say, "Hey, I don't know you but God told me to let you know things will be okay."  I would love to open the mail and find a check for just the right amount for a bill that came due that day.

 I know it happens.

I read about it.

But it doesn't seem to happen to me.

So I despair.

And yet each nigh (well, most nights), when I sit down to write in my gratitude journal, I am reminded.

He is there.

Maybe not in the obvious ways.

But He is there.

Here are just a few of the "gratitudes" I have recorded in the past few weeks...

• an article that reminds me we are not alone
• friends who offer counsel
• someone who listens and offers help
• watching God use the trials of life to help others
• opportunities to become a better mom
• friends who defend my family (and love on me in the process)
• small victories
• the opportunity to cry with a friend
• friends who listen and offer support
• an opportunity to talk to another adoptive mom
• an e-mail of encouragement from someone I was trying to encourage
• friends who strengthen me in the Word
• a hospital bill paid (and the HSA to cover it)
• an encouraging e-mail
• laughter after a tantrum
• time spent with a friend being "real"
• an e-mail of prayer from a friend
• a lower grocery bill this week
• a good day
• a belated Mother's Day note from a child
• a child's good day
• resting in the Psalms
• the freedom of a budget
• listening to a child's giggles as we play badminton

Are they the kind of answers that we all rush to post?  Will they give people chills to hear?  Would any of them be considered miracles?

No.

But I have been reminded over and over that though the times are still tough (and show no sign of letting up for a while), He is there.  And He shows me each day.

It isn't necessarily the out and out answer for all of our ills and troubles.

But He is there.

Listening.

Guiding.

Loving.

I just need to take time to notice.

More to come,
Reba