A Mom's Want Ad

I have been thinking about what kinds of things might be included in a want ad for a mom. Here are just a few, though you know that the list could go on and on and on and on...feel free to add in a few here and there (in the comments section).

Wanted: One Mother
Pay: Hugs and Kisses and a very rare "thank you"
Hours: 24/7 all year long. No holidays. No vacations.

Qualifications:
The mother must be able to...

• act excited when being fed yet another pretend "cookie" and drinking a pretend milk from a tiny little plastic cup
• simultaneously brush their own teeth while brushing the hair of their daughter
• get knots of any size or complexity out of shoestrings
• endure the stomping feet and the rolling eyes that will appear when homework, chores, or punishments are mentioned
• predict the weather for the day as your children are getting dressed each morning
• pretend to race their children to their room yet make sure not to win...
• laugh at jokes that really have no punch lines
• give up the last brownie to the child who is giving his/her puppy dog eyes
• listen to three conversations in the car at the same time
• read the same book over and over and over again
• make up songs to fit any mundane chore (such as the Brushing Teeth song)
• create a menu that is healthy, not too pricey, and pleasing to all in the household
• pray daily for and with their child(ren)
• strong enough to leave a basketball game with a child who is in the midst of a temper tantrum even when it feels like everyone's eyes are on both of you
• eat cold meals by the time you finish dishing out everyone else's meals, get another napkin, refill cups of milk, wipe up a spill, etc
• check over one child's homework while calling out spelling words for another
• remember that each child is in charge of their OWN choices and that bad choices don't automatically condemn them as a bad mom (working on this one at our house)
• play a game of Memory when you really just want to sink into a chair and play a few rounds of Words with Friends
• deny your child the cell phone, t.v., Facebook, etc that "everyone else has" just because you love them
• do just "one more thing" before going to bed no matter how exhausted you are to start all over the next time...
• mediate arguments between two children even though your head is throbbing
• dole out consequences for misbehavior but then remember what consequences were doled out
• answer questions about just about everything, from the simple (what does ham come from?) to the complex ("Why do people have to die?")
• be in two places at one time on days that multiple children have multiple activities going on
• start your Saturday with cartoons and children in your bed
• read your newspaper as you field a thousand morning questions
• remember the tiniest details of your children's early lives for those days they want to reminisce...
• act enthusiastic about algebra even if the sight of the equations makes you physically ill
• let children fight their own battles sometimes even though your hands are clenched the whole time
• love your child even as he/she screams how mean you are
• laugh at yourself...it is the only way to survive
• give up a part of your heart for each child
• question each and every decision you make regarding your children in hopes of doing it right
• give up some personal dreams, some trips, some social life to be home and be a mom
• stop and remember nights like this, nights when you wish the world would stop and you could just wallow in the happiness and joy being a mother can bring...

Reba