Toddler Truths

The Terrible Twos. How many times have I heard that phrase? I have been thinking alot about toddlerhood since we are living with one. Some days we are a LOT more toddler than other days. :) Tonight I was talking to someone I know, also a mom. Her kids are older now (in school). She asked me how our toddler was doing. I told her he keeps us busy since he is so busy, that I had forgotten what toddlerhood was like. She immediately responded, "You forget. It is a lot like childbirth. If you really remembered, you wouldn't want to go through it again."

And there is a little truth to that, though it depends on the moment in time... Here are a few toddler truths I have been reminded of in the last six months:

• "It's all about me...it's not about you..." Mark and I joke around and sing this song when our kids (or ourselves) are being a bit self-centered. That song might be the toddler's mantra. They can only see where they are in the world. Even when interacting with others, it is all about how it affects them. That brings me to my next toddler truth...
• Possessive. What is mine is mine, what is yours is mine. Oh my, our toddler boy actually throws himself around our legs if another child looks at us and calls out, "My mommy!" "My daddy!" As if any other child is begging to join our family. :) I also have to stop a lot of "Mine" remarks when another child picks up a toy that hasn't been touched in three days; if he has touched it in this lifetime, it is his. Or so he thinks. We are growing in that area....
• Help me, help me not. Toddlerhood is full of "I do it...help me!" "I take my socks off...help me!" "I put my shoes on...help me!"
• Independence Day. Right now, our toddler wants to walk everywhere which can be frustrating (like at the store when I am saying, "Nope, not this time) but can also help me out. "Are you going to walk or will I carry you?" Since he is learning quickly I mean that, he usually chooses to rise and walk. :)
• Helpful hands. Toddlers LOVE to help. Anytime I bring out the laundry basket, he is right there, ready to throw the clothes in the washing machine. Yesterday I was going to do a quick fold of some kitchen towels, bibs, washcloths, etc. Well, I thought I was. Suddenly I had helpful little hands sitting on my lap "folding" with me. I am not complaining...I just wish I could hold onto that helpful spirit when they are older!
• Rinse, lather, repeat. Repetition. Repetition. Shall I repeat it? I heard the same stories over and over. For a long time, it was the monkey story. Oh, and it is MY job to repeat what I hear, even if I have said it numerous times that day already. Right now, it is the story of Mark on a roller coaster at SDC this past weekend. "Dadddy go up, up, up." "Yes, Daddy went up, up, up." "Daddy screamed, 'argggg'!" (complete with open mouth) Every day we have to talk about whether the sun is up, whether it is dark, will the cup fit in that hole, etc.
• Routine. Along with repetition, toddlers THRIVE on routine. We try really hard to stick to a routine when possible. There is some comfort for little ones to know what is coming next. They have little power in their lives...it gives them a little "power" to know what comes next. Dinner, play, bath, bed. However, toddlers can be a slave to routine. Trust me, if we don't present the stuffed animals in the right order, we are reminded.
• The right brain rules. I have been reading a toddler book (like about toddlers) that talks about how much the right brain rules a toddler. Right brain is that impulsive, instant, right here and now side. Left brain is the side of logic. Left brain is developing but not nearly as quickly as the right. When toddlers are tired or hungry (the very worst situations to be in), their left brain shuts down. Meltdown. You can try to talk "sense" to them but you are talking to a brick wall since the language center is not hearing a word you say. Of course, we are trying and trying to not let those situations arise but when they do, we just have to step back and let the crying begin. Then we are there to hug when it is done!
• Now, now, now. Everything must be done RIGHT now. In the life of a toddler, even one minute is like torture. (to all of us :) I have been playing pick up sticks with J-man. We don't really follow any rules other than, "My turn, your turn" in hopes that slowly we will understand that sometimes (most of the time) in life you have to wait. And wait. And wait. So when it is my turn, I will take a few minutes to choose my stick.
• Spiritual. Okay, so maybe not a deep spiritual. But praying and reading the Bible are parts of the day routine. And oftentimes, he reminds us we need to pray at dinner. I love to listen to our prayers repeated in toddlerese. I know they don't mean much right now, but I can only hope and pray that with time, that prayer will become a key communication in his life.
• Surprise, surprise, surprise. (Said with a Gomer accent) I just never know which child I am leaving the house with. Some days he is the shy kid, head buried on my shoulder anytime someone says hello. Other times he is the greeter, giving a howdy ho to everyone he meets. It is like that at home. Is he going to be the giggly boy falling on the floor in laughter or will he be the wailing, flailing child collapsed in a heap on the floor because life isn't quite right? It is a surprise from day to day...heck, from minute to minute!
• Connections. Toddlers love to connect. They want to draw lines from dot to dot. Not literally but figuratively. Child 4 can see a "Shake's" sign (no picture) and immediately connects it with the times we have had ice cream. When his book binding broke the other day, he immediately asked for batteries to fix it (isn't that what we usually use to fix things?). The brain growth that happens in toddlerhood just blows my mind!
• Hugs and Kisses. We get LOTS of hugs and kisses, all day long. Toddlers just love you, in spite of who you are.
• Loyal. I have to give it to toddlers, they are loyal. They choose certain parents to be in charge of certain tasks and that is (in their minds) who will do it! "Mommy do it!" "Daddy do it!" I have to give it to him, he is consistent!
• Bound. As in boundaries. Even though they may protest, toddlers need boundaries, even want them (without knowing that) It would be easy to give in to the protesting yell but it is much more comforting to know the rules stay the same. Doesn't make parenting any easier though. :) On the same token, if our house is quiet for more than a minute (which is very rare because they aren't quiet...not a one at my house!), I start searching for a cause. Toddlers don't have that left brain logic to think, "Dumping every book out isn't a smart idea..." So I have to be the conscience. That can be tiring. You only hope eventually they will start to take in those boundaries and claim them as their own!
• Spider Webs and Airflanes (toddlerese)...life looks different at two. I love to watch that mind work (when I can understand it). I think we need to hurry and get somewhere very quick. However, there is my toddler, balancing on the curb (which in his mind is a balance beam), looking with wide eyes at a spider web I never even noticed. I look up and see a cloudy day...he looks up and sees the adventures of an airplane. His eyes see life in a different way!

I could probably go on and on, but MY batteries are running down.

As I jotted down this list, I couldn't help but think, "Hmmm, sounds a lot like God's children..." It is often "all about us". When I don't get my way, I am on my belly kicking my feet (well, figuratively), screaming, "No, no". I like routine, boundaries, even if I don't always follow them. And most of all, much like most toddlers, I know that no matter how scary the world is, the safest place to be is in the arms of my Father. (Anytime we go out and J-man gets nervous about the situation, the first thing he does is hold out his arms and say, "hold you") It makes me thankful for a God who loves me, again, in spite of who I am, a God who sees past this stage of my life and believes in me that I will grow and learn eventually. Thankful for a God who walks with me through the trials and joys of toddlerhood.

Reba