Thursday, April 14, 2011

Leaning Not on My Own Understanding...

My life verse is Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with ALL of your heart and lean NOT on your own understanding. In all thy ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.

It is not an easy verse to follow. I have to trust with ALL of my heart.


Not just a little bit.


Oh, I am already in trouble. All? Really?

Sometimes that is hard.

Most times it is hard.

All of my heart.

No doubts, no worries.

Just trust.

If you know me at all, you know how tough that is.

Lean NOT on my own understanding.

Tonight, once again, I am doing just that. I am not leaning on my own understanding because I have none. None.

I do not understand.

I don't get life.

I don't understand why things happen.

Whey we have earthquakes.



I don't get it.

I am not afraid to say that either.

"God, I don't get it." "Why?" "What are you plans here?"

Okay, so He doesn't typically answer. At least not right away.

But I ask anyway.

In all thy ways, acknowledge Him...

That is actually one of the easiest things for me to do.

I can acknowledge.

I just have to look at the sunset, watch the rain fall, look at the face of a newborn baby, see a rainbow in the sky, gaze at the delicate white lily.

I can acknowledge Him.

And He will direct they paths.

He does, you know. He directs our paths. Sometimes it is through the spoken word (ask my hubby). Sometimes it is through His word. Other times, it is through the wisdom of others. Or opportunities that happen to arise.

He does.

Sometimes I wish he would be a little more detailed in His direction.

But He truly does.

All of these thoughts come to mind today as my heart grieves for the family of my coworker, Mrs. P., whom I have asked for prayers for this past year. She is free from cancer, free from pain. But the rest of us are left to digest the loss.

I don't understand.

I don't.

I am trusting in Him.

Leaning on Him.

Because I have no understanding.

More soon,


  1. I'm so sorry for your loss, and the loss your school and her family are facing. There is so much we don't understand and it's so hard to just trust and not ask questions or have doubts. We just have to remember that He knows, He has a plan and He is mighty and just and He is a loving God, all that He does is for our good. Even when we don't think so!

  2. Reba,

    I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. It's so hard to understand why things like cancer are even in the world--it just doesn't seem fair or right because most of the people I know who have been fighting/are fighting cancer are some of the sweetest, bravest people. I just imagine her reward will be great and as you said, she is no longer in pain. You are in my prayers!

  3. So sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. I hope that peace comes to you, her family and friends as you share fond memories of her.

  4. I don't understand either. I have too many questions. It hurts so much. I am sooooo sorry.

  5. I've been thinking about you and school family. Such a great loss.


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