Thursday, June 7, 2012

How You Doing?

Admit it.

You can't read the title without thinking of Joey from Friends.

Well, even if you did, I bet you won't now. :)

Seems like I am getting asked a lot, "How are you doing?"

"What are you feeling?"

"Are you doing okay?"

I again want to preface all of this to say that I realize our situation is not as dire as so many other situations in the world. As of this moment, we are all in good health.  We are together as a family.  We have a roof over our head (the one we still need to get repaired after the hailstorm) and plenty of food in our fridge.  And most of all, we have a God who loves us and has plans for us...plans we don't understand yet but that is okay. We just have to trust we will know when it is time.

Yet this is a life change, at least temporarily (we hope :). 

And I always appreciate the care and concern of friends.

So, how am I doing?

Honestly for me, I think I am doing okay.

I haven't had a meltdown...yet. 

And I am pretty sure I have gone through each stage of grief (even though this was the death of a job not a person).

I attribute a lot of that to prayer.

And a faithful God.

And a faithful husband.

But I have learned a few things along the way in this journey.

One is releasing the idea of a stigma with unemployment.  When I hear the word "unemployed", I think of a man walking around aimlessly in his bathrobe, stubble all over his chin, in a very depressed state.  So far, that has not been the case at our house. I am the one in my pjs, but that is typical for summer.  And honestly, I am not seeing my main man any more than I used to. He has been out and about doing some consulting work and talking with friends about potential opportunities. 

Unemployment happens.  It can happen at any time to anyone.  We would like to think our jobs are all secure but really, the only certain things in life are death and taxes. :)  I have had so many people come and share about their own experiences with unemployment. Sometimes you can work and do all you are supposed to and still lose your job. I knew that already but it has been confirmed over and over.

Look at every option.  I just joked about this on Facebook this morning.  We will hear about an opportunity, and I will think, "Okay, this is what we should do..." then the "path" will change, whether on our end or on the other end and suddenly we are facing new possibilities.  It is hard to not just want to jump on the first available opportunity (that whole "security" thing) but we want to be wise.  And that may involve patience.  And even feeling a little uneasy at times at the uncertainty of it all.

Decisions, decisions, decisions.  It is hard to know what to do when faced with decisions.  Some decisions are easy.  This is not the time to add on to our house.  Or run out to buy a new car.  Or even get a crown for my tooth since the tooth is not bothering me and is not of grave danger.  But some are more difficult...especially when it involves the kids.  Do we send them to that camp or not?  Do we cut back on our menu to save a few dollars or wait until we have to (if it comes to that)? 

Encouraging friends...they make a world of difference! I have learned what is encouraging in these situations and what is not.  Prayer is.  The Sunday after we found out Mark's job was eliminated, our Bible Fellowship/Sunday School class prayed for us, on the spot.  Hearing from others who have been there and overcome has also been helpful (which also happened that Sunday morning). 

Humor helps.  At least it does for me. I think I have stunned a few people into awkward silence with jokes. But is a coping mechanism. I can laugh or I can cry.  I just usually choose to laugh.  I am not making light of the situation. I am just dealing with it the way I deal with many things in life.

God is good. All of the time.  Not just in "good times".  I don't know how many times I have said, "I am thankful for..." in recent weeks. In some cases, God saved us from some struggles by telling us no (like with adding on to our house...neither one of us could get a peace about that though we both wanted it badly).  In others, He has provided in ways we didn't expect. 

I am sure I could think of some more but I probably need to get up out of this bed to be a productive mom/wife.

Thanks for listening!  This blogging thing is the cheapest counseling/therapy I can do! :)


1 comment:

  1. God is good, Reba! I am praying for you too. I am sure you are your husbands biggest fan and he will need that-


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