Monday, June 4, 2012

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Find Out What It Means to Me...

Admit it.  Aretha Franklin's voice is now going through your mind.

This word has been running through my mind (as well as the song) for a couple of weeks now.

When I first came home and found out that my husband's job had been eliminated, I was in a state of shock and numbness.

Then I moved to being a little upset.  Okay, a lot upset.

After all, he had done nothing wrong.  He devoted his time and energy to this job.  In fact, when he was asked to go work for this company, I was a little worried about commitment on their part since it was a new position.  So I admit, I felt a little betrayed by this turn of events. And a lot defensive.

I am not a fly off the handle person for the most part.  And I tend to stay on the side of reason most of the time, even when my emotions tell me otherwise.

But in this case, I wanted to do something.  To protect my own.  To defend.  To speak my mind.

For several days, I had a running e-mail going through my mind.  It wasn't hateful but it was defensive of my man.  I mean, I love him.  I felt like he was a little wronged in this situation.

I don't know how many times I wanted to sit down and type it out.

In fact, I almost felt like I would explode if I didn't. 

I felt like a volcano with the lava just bubbling, waiting to erupt.

The thoughts wouldn't stop.

I would lay down to sleep, and in my mind, write that e-mail.  I would brush my teeth, composing just the right words in my head.  I would stand in the shower with hot water splashing on my head as I searched for words and phrases that articulated my every though, my every feeling.

Then I mentioned to my mom how much I wanted to do it.  All in the name of love.

And she, being the spoil sport moms can be, told me not to.


I mean, she understood what I was thinking. What I was feeling.  My deep love for my man.

Why not?

Her response?


Respect your husband.

I assured her it would be done because I DID respect him.

She again said no.

Don't you hate that voice of reason?

She said that as much as I love my hubby, he is a big boy.  He didn't need his wife to run in to defend him.


That is what my heart wanted to do.

But my mom was right, darn it.

Ephesians 5:33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

As much as I longed to, I needed to respect my husband.  He is a man. He can take care of himself. Thar doesn't mean I can't do my job at home as an encourager.  Or let him know that I believe in him.  But as much as I want to run in and put up my dukes to protect, I can't.  I have to know (and I have to let him know) that he is the man, a man capable and confident who can face his own battles and struggles.  Not with me in front of him, shooting off at the mouth.

But behind him.

Showing him respect.  In silence.


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