Dear Santa...

Dear Santa, I realize it is a bit early to send you a letter. However, the stores have NO problem playing Christmas music, I am seeing Christmas commercials on t.v., and there are already Christmas decorations going up wherever I look. Since I have quite a list of demands, I mean requests, I thought you might need a little extra time to work your magic.

Now, Santa, I think it goes without saying that I would like world peace, a thriving economy, for every orphan to find a family, for the pain and suffering of those with cancer or illness to be healed. Please know that while this list is mine and mine only, I would obviously wish for the above requests long before my own.

However, if you do take care of all of those requests, I have a few of my own that I would welcome...

I would like...

• five minutes in the bathroom without one person coming to the door, yelling, "Mom???" then not having any type of emergency, at least real emergency.
• two minutes without having a child seek me out to tattle on another child in the family.
• for every child to wake up happy, to get dressed (with no help), and to be ready five minutes early.
• for every child to be happy, no...thrilled, to partake in the meal that I have made. And even better that they might TELL me.
• to get one picture of everybody in the family looking at me (the photographer) and SMILING a natural smile.
• to have a fresh coat of paint (especially on major walls, doorframes, and baseboards) without me having to actually paint it.
• a Roomba...I think it would always get to snack in our kitchen under the breakfast table.
• an extra hour to my day (not to my kids' though)
• an easier way to change the sheets on a bunk bed
• an additional dishwasher so that dirty dishes never have to be IN the sink
• a self-cleaning refrigerator
• cute stylish pants that would automatically adjust to my body's weight and size
• someone who could match all of those lonely socks I have piled in a basket on my dryer
• a chauffeur to deliver children to their extracurricular activities
• a magic wand to magically clean those rooms that belong to little people, the very ones that make me cringe each time I walk in the door
• a volume control for anyone ages 12 and under in the house, including a mute button to be used when needed
• an exercise program that requires little energy or effort but burns millions of calories
• a guidebook to give me step by step directions on how to handle any situation or conversation that arises in our house on a given day
• a personal hairstylist to fix the girls' hair in a cute and unique way every day instead of the one lone scrunchy I know how to put in (sometimes unevenly)
• (thanks to my friend Robin for this one) a refrigerated oven that I can turn on remotely to start dinner
• a professional landscaper to come and create a delightful yard that fits the needs of all of our family (and throw in a neat fort/swingset to boot)

Santa, I know there are so many more things, but I don't want to take up my fair share (I am trying to tone down Christmas after all :), so I will save those requests for another day.

Thanks,

Reba, a.k.a. the Mom

PS Yes, despite what my children have said, I have been good or good enough all year long...