Thursday, February 3, 2011

The Fine Print

Please know that what I am about to type is mostly written tongue in cheek (with a touch of reality). I am on day three of snow days, holed up in the house with four very energetic, very demanding children. And guess what tomorrow is? Another snow day. Oh joy!

Anyway, today I wrote something on Facebook about how I was done with dealing with children's bodily fluids. I won't go into details, I will just say that it was not a fun morning. My next comment was "I did not sign up for this." Of course, then my mom reminded me that I did...when I had kids. That got me to thinking. Did I? Oh, it must have been that fine print.

Early this morning I was on Verizon's website trying to get an i-phone. Yes. I am moving up in the world of technology. My "touch" phone no longer responds to touch. So I really did need another phone. Or at least really want. Anyway, I went through all of the steps once I got the website up and running. The last step is of course to read the fine print and then say I read and agree with it. My husband (who so graciously stayed up with me) noticed me skimming the fine print. He asked, "You aren't really reading that, are you?" I admitted I was. After all, I wanted to make sure I wasn't giving my firstborn away or anything...of course, after the past few days, I would have had to think about that one. :) (By the way, is it being dishonest to check the box on those things saying "I read and agree to them" if you don't truly read every word???)

This really does tie together with the beginning of the post. I promise. Give me a minute.

So the fine print. When I was having children, I pictured these cherub faced, sweet little children cooing at me and thinking I was the grandest thing in the whole world. Did anyone ever tell me that some days I will be standing over the overflowing toilet plunging out toilet paper or wiping up blood from a very bloody nose after two children collided? Nope. Nobody tells you that stuff. It must have been in the fine print.

What else is in the fine print that I missed?
  • That I would not have a hot meal for several years. As soon as I sit down, somebody suddenly remembers that they need something else to eat or drink right then.
  • That the only movies I would go to for several years would involve cartoon characters, a mother who is likely killed off, and talking animals.
  • That my dishwasher and washing machine/dryer would never be empty. Ever.
  • That I would have baskets of toys in every room.
  • That I would go in to take a hot bath only to find little cars and Clifford books lining my bathtub.
  • That any plans of weekend trips would be put on hold due to a daughter's basketball team playing every single Saturday (meaning no sleeping in either :)
  • That I would rarely get to make any muffin, cookie, cake, etc by myself again because I would have so many helpers.
  • That as soon as I sat down to try to do something productive, a little preschooler face would appear with yet another book asking me to pwease wead it to him...
  • That there might be days I want to change my name (from "Mommy" to something else...)
  • That sometimes you will be stuck at home on your fourth snow day just praying it is warm enough for the kids to get out and play
  • That I would read other people's status updates, finding out how much they have gotten done over their snow days, reminding myself that if they had a J-man in their house, they wouldn't get much done either...
  • That I would have to save my book reading for vacation days because when I do read, I totally forget I have a life or children in this house. I have to wait until we can tag team. :)
  • That I would find myself falling in love over and over again with my husband when I watch him in his role as a father and a husband.
  • That all of the fine print in the world could never prepare you for the love that fills your heart when that snotty nose kid yells from his room "Bless you, Momma" when I sneeze...even though he is supposed to be sleeping!
What fine print did you miss? :)

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